08/09/2013
Change can take place in many forms; the essence of a person remains.
Taking advantage of my summer break, whenever I could, I watched videos on the Internet. Recently I revisited Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, and Under the Tuscan Sun. I couldn’t help but wondering the common theme among them. Love. Who doesn’t need love? The love that we can receive and understand and enjoy.
As much as I admire the transformation of Mr. Darcy and Lizzy, I must confess my strong suspicion on its possibility in reality. We would like to believe that love (particularly our love) could drastically change a person for good. Nevertheless, the truth is that the chance of one human being significantly enhancing the quality of another is slim. Most of us just learn to deal with reality--we learn to tolerate, to cope with, and in a plain way, to compromise.
There is no perfect life. In our minds, we all know. Deep in our heats, though, especially at the moments of preparing for a lovely wedding and/or the arrival of a brand new human being (i.e., a baby), we have strong tendency to romanticize the future rosy picture. No, we never give up our longing for a perfect life, and hence, our lives are always “to be continued” with hope.
The rising heat has prevented me from going out during the day. When the night falls, I’m too tired to go out. Day after day, I find myself trapped in self-indulged-isolation. Surprisingly, Sun-Yanzi’s songs came to me. I remember her happy songs like “超快感” , “自然”, “年輕無極限”, or “直來直往,” and I love her healthy figure running in the MV of “懂事”. This really gives away my age, doesn’t it? I’m no longer in touch of contemporary pop songs, but cherishing those in my memory.
Interestinglyenough, my memory of those songs reminds me of who I am. This is very important to me. While the super competitive academic job market is unfriendly to me, and I’m learning to find the balance among different roles of being a wife, a mother, a college instructor, a Christ follower, and me, I tend to get confused about myself—who am I? What do I like? What makes me happy? What am I good at? What makes me smile? When we stick to moral rules and societal expectations, don’t we tend to get lost in the midst of others’ eyes and forget our own very essence?
I like Yanzi’sother songs too. I’d like to end this piece with one of her lines:
“明天是自己的，開始懂了，快樂是選擇”（開始懂了）
Being happy is a choice that requires efforts. It is not easy, but worth it. Since exercise usually cheers me up, I’ve decided to take some exercise today to breathe in the air that God gives me, and let go of my pathetic greed. After all, “走來走去最快樂是知道要什麼” (自然). When you know it, do something.
Be happy,
Tao
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