悠悠桃源 Isaiah 55:12 "For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands." ｛如欲轉載，請註明出處，thax｝

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Dec. 24, 2008

She waited. This time, she waited for his hands reaching out to hers, catching hers. At the end, her hands were still hanging, alone.

In the past, whenever her obsession with the exact definition of a relation occurred, it only got answered after she confronted the other party. This time, after so many failures, she decided to change her strategy. She prayed to God before the trip of visiting him. “If he is the one, help him see me, help us get to know each other better. If not, help me understand what things between us are. I am not praying for myself only, dear God. He is such a nice guy (you make him so perfect, by the way; so you are responsible for that). Even it's not for me, I pray that he will be another sister's blessing.”

This time, she did not confront. She waited. She would find out the answer that she was looking for at the end of this trip. “If he did not take any action, say anything, then it's definitely only friendship between us. I'll move on from there.” He was such a nice guy. She really wished him well and being happy—whether he was interested in her or not.

When there were only two of them in the car, she always made sure that her left hand was reachable to him. When there were only two of them walking, she walked close to him and accidentally swung her hand passing by his. When she saw something interesting, she leaned toward him and told him, “did you see that ...” When they sat side by side, she hoped his arm would rest on her shoulder. None, none of these happened in this trip. “So be friends.” She told herself the day she left for home. Due to Asian inherently cultural shyness between two individuals, they did not even hug. He would never know she had waited for such a long time in agony.

There was one thing she was happy about, though. She held her tongue this time, instead of blurring inappropriate words in any inappropriate tone out and confronted with him. She thought this as the best. “Whatever happened happened for the best.” She decided to move forward and close the deal with him. “It's in the past, and you cannot rewrite the hisotry. So be it.”

At the age of 28, she lived out her prayer seeking the answer from God for her life. It was not easy, but she knew she would make it until God called her back to the home in heaven.