After long few weeks of holding breath, panicking intrinsically, Piotr received his verdict from the school disciplining hearing: plagiarism is convicted, marked in student status, but as the first attempt and with the combination of his handicap competence in computer, my ordeal visa situation, his chronicle insomnia and in-term distraction by job offers, his three subjects are to be remarked by the lecturers without penalty. This is the best outcome I could anticipate and we could hope for really.
However, when I broke the good news, his reaction was a surprise to me. Piotr was not happy with several points:
1. the exams to be remarked are still leaving him at the mercy of lecturers (especially two were personally unfriendly to him lately, due to the examination performance incident)
2. this verdict didn't tell how many resits he has to go through (not until the exams are remarked)
3. he isn't happy that there will be a flag of plagiarism committed written in his corpus student status and fears that in the future the exams will be more difficult for him as the markers may be more vigilant about what he answered
Listening carefully what he said the second or the third time, finally I get what he is feeling. Otherwise, my first impression based on the observation and the surprise over his negative, displeased reaction to this good news I told him that nothing can make him happy.
Later I realised another thing about myself: my easily grab of the positiveness in the event outcome may be die to this not my ordeal, even though it affects me dearly. If I was in Piotr's shoes completely, I may react in a similar way, as vigilant, as sensitive and as negative about it.
Back to the beaking moment of my critics over his never-be-pleased tendency (when I just revealed a great news which he took it from totally different angle), he said he preferred me keeping my observation to myself. he wasn't happy about this observation.
I went back to my room soon later, doing my own things that had potential of making me happy or at least leaving this unpleasantness aside in my head, he came into my room and apologised about his attitude towards me earlier on. Usually, before I left the living room I would be all apologetic as in my mind I might have upset him. But I didn't offer more than one sincere apology before leaving the conversation. Instead of having him sulking stretched a long period of time as the usual routine after my thousands of apologies poured out, he came to my room and tried to explain himself why he had that reaction of being un-impress by the hearing verdict.
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I feel the positions of him and me in this relationship is changing, in a direction that the fairness in the relationship exists. This benefit of having him to reconsidering his behaviour and attitude towards me was fought for last week while we were filming for his audition tape. He was impatient, rude to me when I was trying to help, assist and give my comments on his voice acting. I flipped emotionally, and then quickly came back to the state that we both could muster this audition tape in time. After all the tasks were done (e.g. video editing, uploading and dropbox sharing), he came to my room looking apologetic. I told him I am not going to take it any more of his disrespect behaviour towards me. I have been there and here trying to help him out, what he had been doing was just self-involving, like the whole world should evolve obediently around him. I recalled to him the always leftover of the mess in the kitchen with big frying pans, dishes to wash at the minutes of his leaving for the trips; his always impatient, diva, uneasy attitude towards me when he leaves for those trips too; his easily violent temperament throwing his weight around next to me in the same room that actually threatened me, put me uneasy and anxious, however, I always pretended I wasn't affected by his emotional tornado and stayed cool. That talk ended on an unsettled note; but there was nothing we both could do to amend my feeling and his perspective in that dis-socialable hour at night. I forgot now how do we come back to a loving term, but it didn't take long; maybe just next day after his class. I told him that what he was looking for is a uneducated, loyal wife who doesn't care how you treated her, would do anything for you, as long as you provide financial income to the family. Shame that I am not that type. He responded that he doesn't want that type of woman neither. And days afterwards he commented on my telling-him-off as a good thing, because it showed that I am not a passive, obedient woman.
I am very glad that I finally released my anger over being disrespected by him, and I am very pleased that I heard myself and he heard me saying that I am having enough and would not take it anymore when it happens again.
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