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52愛的鼓勵 0訂閱站台

十幾天沒接我的電話

不管打手機, 打忘憂草, 與妳同事留言

打到家裡, 也被妳媽含糊的推了開

妳怎麼可能連颱風天都不待在家

寫了檢訊, 寫了一個星期的信

妳依然毫無音訊

彷彿從我身旁消失了一般



我不知道我是做了什麼天大的錯事

使得妳甚至不願半點理睬我

不願承認我的存在

心中的寂寞, 一個人的孤單

完全沒有人知道我的痛苦

為愛的煎熬, 為妳的守候

這是一種比工作失敗還更大的打擊


”因為連唯一相信我的人, 也離我而去”


我並不是壞人

可能只是用錯了方法

到了錯誤的時間, 與妳吵架

導致如今殘酷的冷局

自抿自憐沒有用

旁邊已有一個他的妳

聽不到我的聲音

可能這一切都是我咎由自取

都是我惹的禍

我不怪別人


心碎, 難過, 痛苦, 後悔 的感覺

不斷的加諸壓力在我身上

已經只剩下殘缺的半顆心

如今在與妳冷戰的同時

更淌著鮮血


我真的沒辦法了

我真的受不了了

這種沒有感情沒有 relationship 的生活

只有一個人的孤獨和扛不完的責任

不是我要的

沒有妳

我生活不下去

沒有妳的痛苦

我堅持不下去了

我試著讓肚子挨餓一整天

不進食, 不喝水

餓肚子的痛楚

根本無法與失去妳的心疼來作比較

自殘 自憐 貶低自己

完全無法使我釋懷已離我而去的妳

我要回去找妳

我心已決

我不要妳從我的指縫中溜走

我要回台灣

把妳帶回來

就像妳在 ”請你回來” 這篇上寫的

是我該回去的時候了

是我該與妳父母親表明的時候了

沒有妳的痛楚

大過忍受妳媽的苦

這種痛定失痛

真正真正使我了解有妳的重要


我心已決

我千千萬萬需要妳在我身邊

這種愛的情境

無人能知 無人能曉

這種為愛走過的折磨

就像 Kerry 常常提醒我的


”Wayne, your endurance of all those hardships as an entrepreneur, an investor, or a real estate developer has a deep reason behind it. Don’t think the Universe is treating you any differently than anyone else - everyone’s treated fairly in this world.”

”If you want to become a successful entrepreneur, a successful developer or a successful investor, you must learn to endure these hardships - don’t you think all the successful developers you know have gone through what you’re going through right now, don’t you think all of them have been through the same amount of stress, if not more?”

”So you’ve asked the Universe for this hardship all to yourself. Because deep down, you want to be a successful investor. You want to be a successful developer. This is what is going to show your true colour. The hardship, the toughness, it will shape you, make you learn, and grow you to become a better investor, developer, and entrepreneur.”

”If you want a life with no hardship, no pain, no obstacles, you might as well find a government job, or a job at the bank. Be there 9-5. Get your pay cheque. Will you be happy with that?”



No Kerry, I won’t be happy with just a pay cheque, just a bank job, or be in and out of an office 9-5.


Neither will I be happy with just another relationship, a tasteless love, or seeing someone I can’t connect physically, mentally, and spiritually.

I’m going through all these hardships, including not talking to my loved one for weeks and weeks to come. Including her not answering my phone calls, not writing me emails or msgs back. Including her ignoring my love towards her and even including her being with someone else.

I’m enduring all of these great pains, for a greater purpose.


That is, for the love of my life. That deep, superior, meaningful love.

This is, for the girl of my dreams. That girl which attracted me right on first sight. The girl that I think about day in and day out, the girl that stays with me in and out of my dreams.


Any unforgettable relationship has to go through this stage. Any incredible relationship has got to go through such meaningful pain. Any meaningful love has to go through this. Most people in this world don’t go this route for love. Most people can’t travel in this tough territory for love.


But I’m choosing the road less traveled.


The night is dark just before the dawn. But the dawn will arrive.


Anything worth pursuing for, is difficult to obtain.



For you. I will.


I will endure all the pain in this moral world.