It’s hard to face your own fault ...... when you know it makes ppls disappointing, I feel so gulity inside my heart now. Maybe the most disappointing one is GOD.
I dare not to read the email from yuri, in 2 weeks ago, we had committed to have hymn practice in the past sunday, however just as usual, i over-slept and missed it, i didn’t take any immediate response on it and just let be. No phone call, no apologize, nothings. Today, i feel that i made a big mistake on it and feeling so sad..... if it is penality from my GOD, no doubt, i accept completely, now i hope there is a hole to hide forever, escaping this responsibility from my brothers and sisters.
Have ever thought of not going church again ......then no responsibility from church, no expectation from them, also no more gulity when I can’t meet church’s standard.
Come to a small conclusion: I am a selfish person who only want to recieve love from others, but no contribution at all. My god, pls forgive me as i am such a person with strange personility. I’m sorry to make you disappointed, not just 1 time but many.
Today with a super low mood, becuase of the orders i handled is so unsmooth (eg. TSC099, 306, 393), because i have take responsibility of them. So heavy burden on my shoulder, some of the problem which out of my control, i want to share with Fannie, but i am not able, but just conflicts between us, because i am not fullfilling her requirements.
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