她說Michael就像小王子一樣thought everything with his heart...
這幾天連續,
我都一直在看新聞,轉播,專題報導,Youtube,任何他的特輯,歌曲,評論...
每天都盯著電視,抱著NB在沙發上哭泣著睡著...
然後清醒在一大早的另一個新聞報導...
然後,
我也再看了一次我最愛的書"The Little Prince"
就像"The Happy Prince","Peter Pan","The Little Mermaid",..
名為童書,卻擁有悲戚結局殘酷的童話故事...,其實是寫給大人反省哀悼的！
這個世界的大人,還碩果僅存多少單純地如小王子,快樂王子,彼得潘,小美人魚呢？
今天,是一則最新的消息叫醒我的:
攣童案當時的小男主角,現在已經長大成人,25歲了.
他自白---其實當年是他的爸爸逼迫他誣告麥可的！
然後,
人心險惡,社會媒體的操作模式,懷璧之罪般地欲加之罪,何患無辭！
之後雨後春筍般冒出的所謂"受害者",其實都是對和解金的貪婪惡魔角色.
麥可當然不願意自己的名譽毀損,
一定更不願意用錢去和解委屈一個莫須有的罪名..
我知道他是有主見跟堅定的.
但是,
我們也知道邪惡多麼地黝黑,會如何霸道地覆蓋純白的愛..
7億的和解金,
對事業名譽,身心靈受到莫大痛苦跟認同感矛盾的Michael,是多麼大的沈重壓力,
但是對那些貪念薰心的父親們,又是多麼鉅額龐大的慾望跟釣餌阿！
可恥的人類.
只有在失去了才反省,才自白,才承認錯誤,才珍惜..,
卻已經無法挽救上帝原本送給我們Michael才華的美意！
他已經被上帝收回了.
這不是壓倒駱駝最後一根稻草的問題,而是日積月累的相信,卻遭背叛的絕望.
幾億萬人口的告別式,轉播,收視率,哀悼,不捨,
單純的印象跟歌曲是否能擁有持續的感染力...
是否真的能帶給選擇黑色或不得已在灰色地帶生存的人們,
一個放下屠刀立地成佛的決心！
"If you want to be my baby, I don't care about either your are black or white!"
MJ的呼籲...但是即便是高科技高文化如此的現代,
歧視,卻仍然是存在有的迂腐思想,像血液DNA遺傳般地無法單元化.
再多麼地試圖奈米它,自卑跟自大永遠都無法消弭兩者之間的空間感.
不
,我也不敢再相信人們的勇氣跟潛力.
能堅定地維持純白,抗衡黑暗嗎？
能如此有雅量地,無私地,無鄙視地對待所有人類族群嗎？
在那麼多與世界的磨合中,大多數的人們都與撒旦妥協了.
誰像我因為失去的傷悲和自責反省心的悲觀主義
而源源不絕....驅使我熱情地追尋人性本善的樂觀夢想!?
沒有,
沒有人.
我很堅強很勇敢,
對於必須面對的奇怪,我還是面對了.
卻還是屢被不以為然,
我不覺得撒旦們醜陋奇怪,它們倒是嫌棄起我的innocence
每每屢勸我不該再那麼夢幻不切實際,曲高和寡了…
難道,
當白色的天使,就無法在大量充斥著灰色與黑色的現實社會夾縫中生存嗎？
我期待的Neverland,我夢境中的Wonerland,
七彩的飛馬,獨角獸,真愛,純潔,真的都不存在嗎？
可是我一直一直都dream of..
親愛的,
你會一樣說我太執著死心眼嗎？
不停地信仰愛,尋找夢奇地,夢幻莊園,和莊主…
我可不可以一直都是純白色的畫紙,只喜歡一個畫家,會替我著上的繽紛！
只有你,孤獨如你的小王子,孤獨如我的玫瑰花,
才可以體會狐狸說的馴服關係.
對我來說,你就是獨一無二的,You are one of the kind.
對你來說,我也是獨一無二的嗎？ Shall I be unique in all the world to You？
兩個創傷相似靈魂的characters,會互相地理解慰藉？還是害怕借鏡的彼此逃避呢？
是阿...小王子常常說他是孤獨的,連他的玫瑰花,也是孤傲的...
在他離開了他的B-612號星球,離開了他唯一的那朵玫瑰花後,
他才對聖修伯理傾訴：
“I ought not have to listen to her.
One never ought to listen to the flowers.
One should simply look at them and breathe their fragrance.
Mine perfumed all my planet.
But I did not know how to take pleasure in all her grace.
This tale of claws, which disturbed me so much,
should only have filled my heart with tenderness and pity.”
“ 我不應該聽信她的話,
人絕不應該聽花兒的話,(她自我防衛,偽裝的話).
人只應該觀賞她們,聞她們的芳香.
我這朵花使我整個星球充滿了香氣,
但是我不知道如何從她的嬌美中得到快樂.
這個利爪的故事,令我非常不安,
其實我心中,應該只充滿關愛和憐憫才是呀.”
關於玫瑰花,總是嬌傲地伸出利爪,花刺,
很高調地對小王子抱怨揖趾揖氣的聲勢,
像Michael一定要有的天王排場,
像你對我的理智冷靜,
其實是多麼因為自覺謙虛渺小,
才用陣仗來支撐自己的fragile, delicate trust towards the world
關於小王子,老是不夠快樂任性地蠻橫,
很玉石俱焚地對玫瑰花負氣遷怒,
像社會大眾對Michael的judgements,
像我曾給你的要求跟負擔,
其實是多麼地自負自我的膨漲,
才用言語情份來綁住應該屬於你自己的carefree, boundless love to the life.
"The fact is that I didn't know how to understand anything!
I ought to have judeged by deeds and not by words.
Sh ought have cast her fragrance and her radiance over me.
I ought never have run away from her...
I ought to have guessed all the afffection that lay behind her poor little stratagems.
Flowers are so inconsistent!
But I was too young to know how to love her..."
"事實上是我不知道怎樣去瞭解事情,
我應該以行為而非言語來做判斷,
她向我施放她的芳香和光彩
我真不應該逃避她...
我應該猜出她那可憐的小計謀後面所隱藏的感情,
花兒是如此矛盾阿!
但是我太年輕了,不知道如何去愛她..."
當時我太年輕,太愚蠢
不知道如何用我的心去感受,
只一直用眼睛跟耳朵在質疑眼見的愛情和主觀自我的幸福
所以我老是在批判所謂的戀愛模式,
那可能就是我致命的缺點吧！
在我評論愛情之前,我應該認真無怨無悔,不忮不求地試著先努力付出愛....
你是我的幸福嗎？
不用問的問題.
因為You absolutely are!
Michael Jackson,"Before you judge me, try hard to love me."
Before we judge him,
the media and the ordinary people need to be judged, to reflect themselves.
Before I doubt your true heart,
I am the one who should be doubted
why I was lacking of trust and saw your invisible love without my heart
but with those useless eyes blocked by my fake eyelashes.
Before I asked if you did love me,
I should have asked myself
whether I was that much sincere to you as you were to me.
I finally realized,
hoping it's not too late to let you know my faith this time with my heart, not eyes--
You are so kind, so gentle to me,so caring for me,
and I found the need to strengthen myself to protect you in return
in any way
as you have been doing to me
My Dearest Little Prince,
let me feed you back to be your Little Princess this time.
Being sweet, pure, thoughtful, considerate,and caring for you anytime,
I would like myself beocme dependable for you to count on in the rest of your life.
You don't have to marry me, I don't have to ask for a promise of you.
You will have your own true love and happiness eventually, while I will have mine.
Yet
You will always have me
regardlesss of being in any form,any way, nor in any relationship.
We are an unlikely couple -- odd, yet extremely close friends.
If I ever begged for a chance
to have those two relationships meet each other in coincidence,
it was just selfish and self-willed of me to push you to.
as the people got to say sorry to Michael.
I got to say sorry to you, My Little Prince.
Thank you, Michael, for your songs gave me a lesson that I could know my Prince more.
Thank you, My Little Prince, for you told me that you missed me so much too.
You both are so akin to each other
I love you two so much that I will always remember you.
I'll be there wherever you go,
I am here with you whenever your heart falls
so that
You are
Not alone.
Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And boy,
you know that I'll be there
I'll be there
my Little Prince,
I Appreciate You
I Miss You
by Your Angel, Your Rose
