這一年的夏天究竟是什麼時候來的？而那個讓人縮瑟的寒冬又是什麼時候離開的呢？
經歷一大段頻繁而熟悉的匆忙過後，我彷彿是個時空旅人，猛然間憑空降落，渡經五月底的考試群與加袍典禮時居然是難以言說地置身事外，幾番打包之後告別六個月來長居的關渡平原。
偌大的建築物裡遇著熟悉面孔們親切招呼時我總是點頭笑著說『對呀我終於回來了』，然而事實不完全如此，一整天的時光有太多足以想念和信的瞬間：我想念那個從寢室出宿舍再竄入醫院不消五分鐘的所在，想念帶著各種期待與懸念躡手躡腳侵入三樓第三會議室拿早餐的每個星期一三五早晨，想念晨會時院長的補充質疑或指正，想念溫暖便捷的星期一三五醫師午餐會（尤其對比差強人意的北榮員工餐廳與大排長龍一位難求的美食街），想念寬敞聽話的電梯，想念那自在而充滿存在感的過去，想念在外科開刀房裡暢快地綁血管細膩地縫皮大刀闊斧地amputation或是敲掉osteoma......
當然我應該心懷感激的，進入北榮的第一個月就到了小兒科裡最invite questions與最和善歡樂的團隊，感謝我身旁可愛而深具包容性的的人兒們伴我度過轉換初期的憂鬱，適應了種種之後逐步找出居游於期間的步調以及找回involvement所帶來的動力（啊哈那股穿梭於病房間莫名的興奮究竟是打哪兒來的呢？真希望可以一直這樣活力充沛地活下去啊）
只是我還是清楚地曉得自己的歸屬感在哪兒。我在這兒張望著尋找自己未來的身影but I do not see myself here in the future
在每一次學長姊回報或被詢問的當下想著嗯要是在和信這就是我要回答了我該怎麼陳述才是呢;在每一回合寫note的時候想著該寫哪些才是complete and concise地記錄病人狀況，同時盡量narrative; 每一回看到病人的data時試圖記憶著數據，我記得院長那貫注地讓人直楞楞的眼神對我說著在內科就是要盡可能地記住各種資訊呀這樣才能見微知著......然後這個月好幾度和Amy學姊聊起和信的點點滴滴時那種彷若家人般的感覺：）
Heya!! I just wanted to thank you for the sweets and the note! I really appreciate it! I always enjoy talking to clerks who have been to KFSYSCC because I think it is a special bond that we hold in commong having gone to the same clerkship training. I totally understand that you mean because when I first went to TVGH, I had some problems adjusting the the system. Pediatrics at TVGH is actually one of the better places, but when uo go to other rotations, you will find that sometimes the resident or attending will simply ignore you, and you will feel non-existent. Don't feel bad. What I can tell you is that you already have a very, very good foundation from what you have learned at KFSYSCC, so just keep building upon it and don't lose sight of your ideals and principles. Keep writing good admission notes and progress notes (I saw yours in NBR and I think you are doing a great job!! Don't fall into the trap of copy and pasting and using forms). Keep doing a complete physical examination as often as possible (you may find some clues that other people have missed). Keep learning form patients (when you reach something you don't understand, look up information and learn from it). And I think just bringing a simple smile can make a big difference! I am certain you will be a great doctor!
我要一直記得：）
然後我想起這個月和過去的幾段衝撞：六月一日的夜裡是前年吳健雄小隊員們從華山續攤到公館的聚會，七個孩子天真地望著我說：『學姊～輔導員到底是怎麼選出來的呀』而這個月我在小兒科遇到了五年前的盛夏我幾乎想要問同樣問題，現在絕對是conscientious and meticulous的羅以學姊。
這些過去和現在的相逢總是讓我不禁思索一路走來的得到與失去，而我會選擇更樂觀地相信自己能夠突破能夠適應能夠豐收，只是我需要更明快果絕的堅定。
知道自己真的想走的路就用力地加油吧!
Be mature, confident and competent : )
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