dear parsley,
"he'd never look at me the way he is looking at me now."
stab, stab, stab.
not only i had taken my seat, i was being stabbed and bleeding to death there, right in front of the tv set.
later that night, i had enormous amount of flash backs at the back of my head, helplessly nonstop replaying in my head. i couldn't get it to stop, nor could i look away form it. it was still so real yet painful. i could almost feel his cheek rubbing against mine.
yep, it's all in my head. it was only then the very first time i think to myself, i really am a genuine psycho with no doubt.
i suspired. he's stopped hurting me since the day he decided not to have anything to do with me. he couldn't possibly do anymore harm if he is not here to do so, right? it's all me hurting myself after all. with the memories i cling to and the figure i insist on existing still.
i admire you. for your courage to seeing him agian and still remain a whole piece. if i were you, i would have broken into thousands pieces the second i have him in my sight. i'd turn into ashes and dusts just as the vampire meets sunlight.
or not so dramatic?.. i really don't know what i'd react. i might just faint? or run away? can't possibly imagine what i'd do or behave, though i now think to myself i'd hug him tight, but then, i'll never know.
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