Today is May 11th, 2003. Happy Mother's Day... well... To me and to my mother in HK. Every holiday, i miss my parents... this lasted for one and a half year already... hmm... from the day i came to Canada... oh well... and as usual, many things happen to me again...
having bubble tea with u, i was so happy coz i really want to see u... duno why... i know u always lie to me and somehow wanna play me... but i am still attracted to u... u are not handsome, not chic, u are nth but really attractive!!! when i see u, the feeling is so sweet... yeah... this is sth that i cant get from "him"... and your feelings to me is totally different... duno how to say but i love that feeling.
after the dinner, u asked me if u have to bring me home like 2 or 3 times, i was surprised honestly... no, u are not the first person did this but "he" never did this to me... and u... just a person i know, not even friend but still... and "he"... Sigh~
anyways, after coming back to my place, i thought i would find another happiness... oh well... but today i guess... why??? hmm... not really because of him... but becoz of "him" again... "he" asked me to help "him" to do sth all the times... and "he" makes me feel like i am responsible for everything to "him"... i mean, i am just a friend to "u"... why should i do everything to "you", i am not a slave, man!!! i hate this feeling... hate that!!! "u" said "u" were not mad at me... but did "u" tried to take a look at "your" words and "your" attitude??? no, eh? but i have feelings... i dun like that... but hey... who cares???!
i hate "you" becoz "u" dun like me anymore... well... when i knew that "u" wanna approach another girl, i feel it... but i found the truth today by myself... oh well... great!!! i can satisfy now... it was her... i knew it... Bingo!!! haha... i should be happy or sad??? i know who "u" like and i know that is not me... what an irony!!!
my worst thing happened... and i thought i could get some comforts from my roommate... and he used to be another guy who can make me laugh and happy... but today, he made me cry and sad... cool!!! everything is so shitty to me now... he was trying to be nice at first... but i duno why... i make everything more crappy... i was mad at him... maybe i thought he should be responsible to me... but honestly, he shouldn't be... hmm... he and she can ignore me for 3 fucking hours... Sigh~i stayed in his room but i feel alone by my fucking self... i relied on him too much... i shouldn't rely on anyone but myself~*
hmm... oh well... my life sucks all the time... today is just the worst of the worst!!! haha... Happy Mother's Day but FUCK YOU!!!
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