she's saying exactly how i feel. it is my decision and i'm not asking u to choose either, i've said many times, nobody should have to make that kind of decision.
now that I'm liking you more and more, and feel that you really are someone I would consider loving and become my life partner, that's why I'm trying to think of all the possible problems and be really honest with myself in evaluating each one. The only problem is whether I can fully accept your son as part of our lives. At this moment, I know I can't if your son were to come into our lives right away, your son is too young and requires too much care and attention which I don't think I'll be able to provide. I know you aren't asking me to be his mother, but think of it in reality, a woman has to act like a mother in order to bring up a child properly. What will your son think of me if I act indifferent towards him and you will surely resent me for not caring abt your son. Picking and dropping off at day care, choosing a school, going over homework etc etc. So much time and sacrifice is involved in raising a child. I can't just leave all the child raising tasks to you because he's your son and not mine.That would be downright selfish. If I want to be with you, I want to fully accept and share all our responsibilities together.
I can't bring myself to hurt a young child, or you and myself too. You know I'm not looking for someone just to date or companionship, I'm looking for a life long partner to settle down and start a family with. That's why I'm bringing up this topic now before I even got involved with you.
I wish your son is older, or perhaps I had at least the chance to interact with him to see how it would be like. Maybe I can accept him maybe I can't, but I don't know. Maybe if I gave myself a chance, things might turn out great. I don't know what else to say either. All I know is I really miss you now, and really want to meet you again. Two heartaches in a month is too much for me to bear.
-T
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