Alice: u know what?
tnsl99: ??
tnsl99: what
Alice: i've actually subconsiouly come across that issue
Alice: even though it's early on
Alice: and i just went out with him twice
tnsl99: it's never too early
Alice: when i looked at Callum, a lovely , adorable and smart and sweet boy
Alice: i thought i could love him, but not sure if i have the capability of raising him, u know?
tnsl99: let me forward u what i said
Alice: i have to think if his mom likes the idea of someone else raising his son
Alice: but then
Alice: she is living with her bf, and she has 3.5 days of a week of custody
Alice: so...
Alice: i think Dave is really a great guy
tnsl99: yes
Alice: someone i feel connected and comfortable and i could really fall in love with
Alice: but then...
tnsl99: i think robert is great to
tnsl99: too
Alice: here's the son factor
tnsl99: yup
Alice: and the marraige status
Alice: but then
Alice: it shows they are able to handle responsiblity
Alice: and if i were Victoria back then
Alice: i would do exactly what she decided to do
Alice: but now....it's different
Alice: i can see myself hanging out with Dave and the son
tnsl99: i dunno if i can do that
Alice: with a very different attitude of myself
Alice: i mean, if i really loved him
Alice: but Callum is a lovely kid
Alice: still
Alice: it's someone else's kid
tnsl99: yes
tnsl99: not mine
Alice: and if he's acting back and freaking me out
Alice: i'm sure it'll get complicated
tnsl99: yeah
tnsl99: oh well
tnsl99: i dun want to take the risk
Alice: now it's not an issue, i watched over them doin homework and watching Harry Potter and putting him to bed
Alice: becuz i'm not involved yet
Alice: but when it comes to making decision
Alice: with me factored in
Alice: but then
Alice: it's his son, he'll make the decision best for him
Alice: i dunt think i'll involve much
Alice: he knows what's best for him
Alice: and so does she
Alice: so....
Alice: but then, he's with Callum 3.5 days of a week
Alice: unlike Robert who's son is in Australia with the mom, and Callum is 5-yr-old, already knows things
Alice: and is Robert going to fight for custody?
tnsl99: not now
tnsl99: maybe a few yrs later
Alice: yeah...
Alice: see how Erin and Paul cudn't work out?
tnsl99: yup
Alice: even the youngest son, 15-yr-old
Alice: still the baggage
Alice: Paul didn't want to give his family any trauma
Alice: but then he's deeply in love with her
Alice: he had to choose his family
Alice: it's no problem when they were dating, traveling to France and all over the world w/o kids, since they are grown up
Alice: but when it comes to a marraige
Alice: it's still a big issue
tnsl99: yeah
tnsl99: so better give up now
tnsl99: since i'm not involved yet
Alice: but
Alice: is Robert trying to get custody?
Alice: so u really like him huh?
tnsl99: yes
tnsl99: he likes me too
Alice: perhaps we think too much ahead
tnsl99: no
tnsl99: i dun think so
tnsl99: better deal with it now
tnsl99: than later
Alice: but then...being a child care taker is totally different from being a mother
Alice: in our role, right now we can be the kid's care taker
tnsl99: not fair to the kid it hink
tnsl99: think
Alice: but the responsiblity associated being with this man is much more than that
Alice: aiiiiiiiya
tnsl99: i won't be surprised if one day dave gets full custody of callum
Alice: oh why? and how?
tnsl99: if his wife has green card issues..or gets married
Alice: he wanted to live in PA so he could be closer to the son and share joint custody with that Dutch lady, and he said he's ready to live here for good.
Alice: i think for now he's been in nice position to her
Alice: he's done a lot for her, see he moved cross many countries to be with her, from UK to New Zeland, and when things weren't going well he still wanted to try to work it out becuz that's how his upbringing raised him
tnsl99: sounds like it
Alice: back then he was teaching at Standford but then he quitted, got job offers elsewhere but decided to stay near PA so he can see Callum often...
Alice: and he admitted being nice has hurt himself a lot
Alice: and put him in bad position
Alice: when i watched him reading bed time story to him and putting him to bed and turning the sound lower
Alice: i felt responsible for keeping things to the best for the kid, u know?
Alice: no TV sound, no talkin loud, stuff like that
tnsl99: yeah
tnsl99: i know what u mean
tnsl99: he's a good father
Alice: it's a whole different picture
tnsl99: it's all up to us
Alice: and u hvn't seen it
tnsl99: whether we want to accept it
Alice: well
Alice: but i guess to americans it's quite normal
Alice: but not to us Chinese
Alice: we consider divorced men somewhat with problem
Alice: not to mention those with baggages
tnsl99: yup
tnsl99: my mom will never accep tit
Alice: i doubt if my mom wouldn't flip
Alice: Dave said that i do have choices, to be with those guys who is single w/o a child
Alice: he knows that
tnsl99: yes
tnsl99: u better think abt it now
Alice: i believe he's experienced that
tnsl99: before u get involved
Alice: yeah
Alice: i know
Alice: one thing for sure
Alice: i'm not ready for such commitment
tnsl99: me too
Alice: but since i am fickle minded, the more time i spend with child, i actually start to like them
Alice: but i dunt think i'm ready for my own
Alice: but again, spending time with someone else's kid is no reponsiblity, it's like playing with them @ day care
tnsl99: yes..totally different
tnsl99: i dun know what to feel now
tnsl99: maybe i should just give up
tnsl99: why take the risk
Alice: um.......
Alice: what about Johan ?
tnsl99: he's pretty much out of the picture now
Alice: not sure, since u've always ended up with no ending
Alice: is he really?
Alice: are u sure? that's fast
tnsl99: i can't accept all the gambling
tnsl99: even without robert
Alice: GOOD
Alice: or all that football crap
tnsl99: i ask myself..do i want to be 2nd priority to his gambling
Alice: hahaha
tnsl99: football is part of his gambling
Alice: now u have a choice
Alice: not to be part of it
Alice: be4 u didn't really have a choice cuz you were too emotionally attached
Alice: and comfortable
tnsl99: yeah
tnsl99: now that i dont see johan anymore..can think clearer
tnsl99: life with him involving gambling was too emotioanlly tiring
tnsl99: constantly having to fight for his time
Alice: yes yes
Alice: yes yes
Alice: life is never perfect huh?
Alice: now this Robert guy has a child
Alice: and how aggressive is he trying to get the custody?
tnsl99: not vert
tnsl99: it's just a possibility
tnsl99: but he loves his son enough to want to have custoday someday
tnsl99: will be quite a few years i think
tnsl99: but who knows
Alice: i c
Alice: so tough
Alice: and how to start?
Alice: this kinda love is way beyond my understanding
Alice: maybe i will, until the day i have my own
tnsl99: yup..exactly
tnsl99: but i know i won';t love a son that's not mine
Alice: not to mention u've never met him
tnsl99: yeah
tnsl99: i'm not too crazy abt kids in the first place
Alice: me neither
Alice: somehow you seem like a potentially good housewife and lifepartner
Alice: but i jst don't see you wanting a child
Alice: perhaps u and i aren't there yet, still too young and not mentally ready
tnsl99: maybe
tnsl99: i think i will be a good mother
tnsl99: to my own kid
tnsl99: but not to others
Alice: um...that's understandable
tnsl99: oh well
Alice: we rn't all holistic
Alice: not sure whose situation is worse huh? i'm liking a man who's not even divorced yet
Alice: haha.....so...sarcastic
tnsl99:
Alice: hahah
Alice: u laughed too hard
Alice: how funny huh?
tnsl99: sad laugh
tnsl99:
Alice: i know
Alice: what's going on these days
tnsl99: no idea
tnsl99: what's wrong with us??
Alice: hahah
Alice: well, we find those european more lovable than americans, but they also tend to love having a family more
Alice: what a coincidence
tnsl99: a man should love a family more
tnsl99: that's hte right kind ofman to marry
Alice: i now feel how hard it's been for Erin
Alice: she still cries a lot
Alice: and they still takl
Alice: talk
tnsl99: i havne't even started anything with robet..
tnsl99: only been talking a lot
Alice: yeah
Alice: it's good to get things cleared
Alice: we are matured adults
tnsl99: yup
Alice: aiiiiiya
tnsl99: sorry
tnsl99: got interrupted
tnsl99: i'll talk to u tonite
tnsl99: too many interuptions today at work
Alice: ok
Alice: later
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