Simon U 之友評論翻譯書籍：索爾．貝婁<<像他這樣一個知識分子>> （Ravelstein by Saul Bellow）李桂蜜譯，時報出版，2003
鍾漢清說明：在2003年10月，不知道Ravelstein by Saul Bellow有中文翻譯，hc向張瑞麟兄請教了許多書中的法文，並與林博華先生討論Ravelstein取名，很可能是著名法國音樂家拉威爾（除了影射著者之知交之外），諸如類似，這些，都留在日刊Simon University之檔案中。
2004年3月中旬，我知道台灣有翻譯本。我竟沒空再對照讀一番，希望以後有機會整理2003的評論。不過，我就請朋友們就附原文和翻譯對照文本，問他們:有沒興趣抓抓蟲？
Simon U 之友的評論，已很可供大家參考。大致上，中文翻譯也很用心，不過，當然有有失手處。梁永安先生很快就找出首兩段的一些問題。不過，潘震哲老師的說法比較清楚，所以本文就採用他的。再此，謝謝貢獻智慧的朋友—他們的評論，參考【】之內的文章。
Ravelstein by Saul Bellow 李桂蜜譯＝對照和翻譯評論：第一章（前數段。）
對人類有貢獻的人都得很逗趣，這是很奇怪的事情。至少在美國，經常是如此。想要治理國家的人都必須娛樂國人。在美國南北戰爭期間，人民抱怨林肯所講的笑話。或許他覺得一絲不茍的態度比任何的笑話都來得危險。不過批評家都表示他很輕浮，而他自己的軍事祕書則說他像隻猩猩。
Odd that mankind's benefactors should be amusing people. In America at least this is often the case. Anyone who wants to govern the country has to entertain it. During the Civil War people complained about Lincoln's funny stories. Perhaps he sensed that strict seriousness was far more dangerous than any joke. But critics said that he was frivolous and his own Secretary of War referred to him as an ape.
【感謝潘老師；commentary from Jenn-Tser Pan
第一段譯得中規中矩，唯一顯著的錯誤當然是把Secretary of War譯成「軍事秘書」（可以媲美《天才的學徒》一書的編輯，把我譯的「軍醫署長」【Surgeon General】改成「外科將軍」）。美國於 1789年成立「作戰部」（Department of War），其組織迭有變遷（如「海軍部」獨立於「作戰部」之外，以及「空軍部」的成立等），直到1949年才改名「國防部」（Department of Defense），統一管轄海陸空軍及其他部門。Secretary當然就是「部長」，不是什麼「秘書」。】
與我同世代的人具有喜歡拆穿別人假相以及幽默嘲諷的品味與精神，門肯A是當中的佼佼者。我那些閱讀《美國信使》B的高中時代友人，對於門肯所報導的斯科普斯C審判案都很瞭解。門肯對於布賴恩D、聖經地帶E以及豬頭老美F的態度很嚴厲。替斯科普斯辯護的達羅G則代表了科學、現代與進步。對達羅和門肯來說，布賴恩這位特殊神造論者H是個該死的農場帶荒謬例子。在進化論的語言裡，布賴恩是生命樹中的一根枯枝。他的自由鑄造銀幣運動是個笑話。還有他老式的議會演講方式也是。此外還有他狼吞虎嚥的大量內布拉斯加農場晚餐。門肯說，布賴恩的飲食是他的致命因素。審判期間，布賴恩關於特殊神造論的觀點遭到極度嘲弄，他便採取翼手龍的方式－－這個做法雖然笨拙，可是這個概念後來卻成功了－－滑行的爬蟲動物變成飛翔鳴唱的溫血鳥類。
Among the debunkers and spoofers who formed the tastes and minds of my generation H. L. Mencken was the most prominent. My high school friends, readers of the American Mercury, were up on the Scopes trial as Mencken reported it. Mencken was very hard on William Jennings Bryan and the Bible Belt and Boobus Americanus. Clarence Darrow, who defended Scopes, represented science, modernity, and progress. To Darrow and Mencken, Bryan the Special Creationist was a doomed Farm Belt absurdity. In the language of evolutionary theory Bryan was a dead branch of the life-tree. His Free Silver monetary standard was a joke. So was his old-style congressional oratory. So were the huge Nebraska farm dinners he devoured. His meals, Mencken said, were the death of him. His views on Special Creation were subjected to extreme ridicule at the trial, and Bryan went the way of the pterodactyl—the clumsy version of an idea which later succeeded—the gliding reptiles becoming warm-blooded birds that flew and sang.
【感謝潘老師；commentary from Jenn-Tser Pan：
第二段稍微難譯一些，提到Menckem, Bryan, Darrow等人名，及Scopes trial, Bible Belt, Farm Belt等名詞；譯者顯然也查了資料，加了註，但整段話有一些不通之處。第一句就錯了，原意是：「形塑我那一代品味及思想的揭謊及諷刺作家當中，門肯是最出名的一位。」最後一句中的the clumsy version of an idea which later succeeded也不大對，我的理解是：「Bryan採用翼手龍的做法：從滑行的爬蟲類轉變成飛翔鳴唱的溫血鳥類；這個演化觀念的笨拙版本，到頭來卻成功了。」debunker and spoofer不好譯，debunker勉強可以用大陸的用語：「打假」。】
-----Ravelsrein 第一章接下來的部分
我在一本塗鴉的筆記本中寫滿了門肯的引言，後來又加上一些喜歡嘲諷別人或自我嘲諷的人所說的話，像是菲爾茲I、卓別林、韋斯特T、朗U及德克森參議員V。甚至還有一頁是關於馬基維利W的幽默感。不過我並不想將各位牽扯進我對於民主社會的機智及自我解嘲所做的思考裡。別擔心。我很高興那本舊筆記本已經消失了。我不想再看到它。它像是一條擴充的注釋般短暫浮現。
I filled up a scribbler with quotes from Mencken and later added notes from spoofers or self-spoolers like W. C. Fields or Charlie Chaplin, Mae West, Huey Long, and Senator Dirksen. There was even a page on Machiavelli's sense of humor. But I'm not about to involve you in my speculations on wit and self-irony in democratic societies. Not to worry. I'm glad my old scribbler has disappeared. I have no wish to see it again. It surfaces briefly as a sort of extended footnote.
我一直癖好注釋。我認為一條聰明或厲害的注釋可以拯救許多的內文。我發現自己正在使用一條很長的注釋來開展一個嚴肅的主題－－我們將場景轉移到巴黎，克里宏飯店X的頂層住房裡。當時是六月初。早餐時間。主人是我的好朋友羅斐斯坦教授，亞伯‧羅斐斯坦。我和我太太也住在克里宏飯店，我們住在下面六樓的房間裡。她還在睡覺。我們樓下的整層樓（這件事並不是絕對相關，可是不知為什麼，我就是無法不提及）被麥可‧傑克森和他的隨行人員給包下來了。他每晚都在某個巴黎大體育場表演。他的法國歌迷很快就會到來，一大群的臉孔會向上抬，一起大喊米可．傑克松Y。一排警察會阻止歌迷擁向前去。在飯店裡，從六樓以上，往下看著大理石階梯時，我們會看到麥可的保鑣。其中一個人正在填《巴黎衛報》裡的填字遊戲。
I have always had a weakness for footnotes. For me a clever or a wicked footnote has redeemed many a text. And I see that I am now using a long footnote to open a serious subject—shifting in a quick move to Paris, to a penthouse in the Hotel Crillon. Early June. Breakfast time. The host is my good friend Professor Ravelstein, Abe Ravelstein. My wife and I, also staying at the Crillon, have a room below, on the sixth floor. She is still asleep. The entire floor below ours (this is not absolutely relevant but somehow I can't avoid mentioning it) is occupied just now by Michael Jackson and his entourage. He performs nightly in some vast Parisian auditorium. Very soon his French fans will arrive and a crowd of faces will be turned upward, shouting in unison, Miekell Jack-sown. A police barrier holds the fans back. Inside, from the sixth floor, when you look down the marble stairwell you see Michael's bodyguards. One of them is doing the crossword puzzle in the Paris Herald.
「有個流行歌手把這裡搞得熱熱鬧鬧的，這樣很好，不是嗎？」羅斐斯坦問道。教授今天早上非常開心。他透過管理部門的關係，得以搬進這間令人覬覦的套房。得以來到巴黎－－住在克里宏飯店裡。就這麼一次帶著大把銀子來到這裡。再也不用住在龍街上那家飛龍旅館或什麼的臭房間裡了；也不用住在醫學院對面聖父街上的學院飯店了。沒有比克里宏更大更豪華的飯店，第一次世界大戰之後的和平談判期間，美國高級軍官曾經在此住宿。
"Terrific, isn't it, having this pop circus?" said Ravelstein. The Professor was very happy this morning. He had leaned on the management to put him into this coveted suite. To be in Paris—at the Crillon. To be here for once with plenty of money. No more of the funky rooms at the Dragon Volant, or whatever they called it, on the rue du Dragon; or in the Hotel de l'Académie on the rue des Saints Pères facing the medical college. Hotels don't come any grander or more luxurious than the Crillon, where the top American brass had been quartered during the peace negotiations after the First World War.
「很棒，不是嗎？」羅斐斯坦一邊說，一邊快速地比手畫腳。
我表示同意。我們的下方就是巴黎市中心－－協和廣場和它的方尖碑、橘園、眾議院、塞納河和它那些壯觀的橋樑、王宮、花園。當然這些都是偉大的景物，可是現在被羅斐斯坦從閣樓上指出來，它們又顯得更偉大，羅斐斯坦去年才背了一萬美元的債務。或許還要更多。他向來喜歡拿他的「償債基金」（sinking fund）跟我開玩笑。
"Great, isn't it?" said Ravelstein, with one of his rapid gestures.
I confirmed that it was. We had the center of Paris right below us—the place de la Concorde with the obelisk, the Orangerie, the Chambre des Députés, the Seine with its pompous bridges, palaces, gardens. Of course these were great things to see, but they were greater today for being shown from the penthouse by Ravelstein, who only last year had been a hundred thousand dollars in debt. Maybe more. He used to joke with me about his "sinking fund."
他會說：「我在跟著基金一起往下沉－－你知道這個詞在金融圈的意思是什麼嗎？奇克？」
「償債基金嗎？我沒什麼概念。」
He would say, "I'm sinking with it—do you know what the term means in financial circles, Chick?"
"Sinking fund? I have a rough idea."
在羅斐斯坦突然致富之前，沒有人曾經質疑過他對奢侈品的需要，包括亞曼尼（Armani）西裝、威登（Vuitton）行李袋、在美國弄不到的古巴雪茄、登喜路（Dunhill）配件、白峰純金筆或是巴卡拉（Baccarat）Z或萊儷（Lalique）水晶酒具。羅斐斯坦很高大，不過並不強壯－－做瑣事的時候，他的雙手會顫抖。這並不是因為他很虛弱，而是他身上那股熱切的巨大能量釋放出來使然。
Nobody in the days before he struck it rich had ever questioned Ravelstein's need for Armani suits or Vuitton luggage, for Cuban cigars, unobtainable in the U.S., for the Dunhill accessories, for solid-gold Mont Blanc pens or Baccarat or Lalique crystal to serve wine in—or to have it served. Ravelstein was one of those large men—large, not stout—whose hands shake when there are small chores to perform. The cause was not weakness but a tremendous eager energy that shook him when it was discharged.
【感謝張華先生關於Ravelstein翻譯的看法：…….提供一些意見：
1.「打假」的台灣版可能是「抓包」、「出別人的糗」等。
2. Mont Blac照字義當然是「白峰」，但業界一般稱「萬寶龍」。
3.Dunhilll accessories包括手錶、打火機、鋼筆、袖釦、戒指、皮帶等，應是「(精緻的)隨身用品」而不是「配件」。
原文(第6-7段)：
羅斐斯坦去年才背了一萬美元的債務。或許還要更多。他向來喜歡拿他的「償債基金」（sinking fund）跟我開玩笑。
他會說：「我在跟著基金一起往下沉－－你知道這個詞在金融圈的意思是什麼嗎？奇克？」
「償債基金嗎？我沒什麼概念。」
...by Ravelstein, who only last year had been a hundred thousand dollars in debt. Maybe more. He used to joke with me about his "sinking fund."
He would say, "I'm sinking with it—do you know what the term means in financial circles, Chick?"
"Sinking fund? I have a rough idea."
原文sinking fund可兩解：作「償債基金」是正解(即按詞面解釋譯)，但作者卻歪解為「下沉基金」(即按字面解釋)，譯文顯然依正解翻譯，便和下文的「下沉」接不上來，失去雙關的趣味。解決之道，可能要借用另一個經濟學名詞「沉没成本(sunk cost)」來移花接木。建議修正如下：
......他向來喜歡拿他的「 沉沒基金」（sinking fund）當笑話說給我聽。
他會說：「我在跟著基金一起往下沉－－你知道這個詞在金融圈的原來的意思是什麼嗎？奇克？」
「不就是「償債基金」嗎？我只知道個大概。」】
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