今天姑姑公司的一個同事姊姊問我, “不好意思, 但是我有一個問題很想問你, 你回去台灣應該會比在美國好找工作, 為什麼不回去勒?” 我想現在一定有很多人想問我同樣的問題, 我想還包括我的爹娘, 所以我就順便把我的答案寫在這裡…
Today, an older sister in my aunt’s company asked me a question, “I am sorry, but really want to know why don’t you go back to Taiwan to find a better job if it’s easier there than in America?” I guess this is the question that many of you want to know, too, including my lovely mom and handsome dad. Therefore, I just write it down here on the website…
女王希望能進美國公司然後派回台灣或大陸, 如果能待在美國的話更好, 雖然畢業已經快滿兩個月, 工作一直未有著落, 我卻還在這裡守著我的四行倉庫, 我的理想, 就是因為我害怕到我老時的某一天, 回想起現在這個時間沒有撐住就回台灣先混口飯吃, 腦中出現的只有後悔和感嘆, 我就容易想起撞壁這樣玩意兒, 人老了撞壁, 絕對比現在碰壁悽慘的多, 所以女王只想撐著, 努力著, 女王的老天爺總有聽到我呼喊的一天, 而把我的理想放到人間來…
I really hope to enter American company then get assigned back to Taiwan or China, it’s even better that I can stay in the US if available. Two months past after graduations and there no news about my job. I am still hanging on here in my tiny little room, for my ideal. Because I am afraid that, in my older ages, when I think of not staying here but going back to Taiwan in order to get a job quickly, I will only get regret and sorry in my mind. Then I want to kill myself. It must be better that I spend some time hanging on here than that horrifying regrets coming out in my mind when I am old. Therefore, I decide to stay. Someday my own God will hear my yelling and settle my ideal in the man’s world…
一開始覺得很苦的, 好像被流放的小孩子, 有家歸不得, 又沒人想認領, 年紀一大把還會有這種自編自導自演的橋段; 時間漸漸過去, 我的心情也慢慢恢復起來, 雖然家人, 朋友們都不在身邊, 但我覺得心比身更難得, 我能感受到他們, 天天相處也就不是像呼吸那樣重要了…
In the beginning it’s really hard to accept this life. I admit. I was like a expatriating kid that no one wanted and no home to go back. Ai… Although I am so old now, I still have this sad way of thinking and get deep involved of it sometimes. But when time passes by, I just become happier and happier. Even though my family and my friends are not by my sides, I can feel them, and that’s the most important. I feel the true heart is much meaningful than physically staying together. So to get along everyday is not that necessary as to breathe for me now…
寫到這裡, 還是掉了幾滴眼淚, 女王嘛~ 了解我的人都知道我是愛哭鬼, 反正擦乾了就好, 我等會還有辛普森要看哩~
I still dropped some tears writing down here. You know me, the SM Queen. Everyone knows she is a crying queen as well. After wiping out the tears, I still have to watch the Simpson!
女王加油! 大家都加油!
僕は頑張ります。皆もね。
P.S. 我不是指在台灣的工作不好, 我爹我娘都在台灣工作養活在美國的我. 只是我的理想是不讓這個美國的環境間斷, 讓我可以繼續學習美國經驗, 人各有志, 希望我的小囉樓們懂!
P.S. I didn’t mean that working in Taiwan is a bad choice for me. My parents are working there and raise me who is in America now. Just because my ideal is to keep this American culture and environment in my life to learn more experience. People have different ways of thinking. I just hope all of you can understand!
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