From S'pore ,The Straight Time.
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SHE'S BAD , SHE'S HSU BAD
Taiwanese self-professed socialite Hsu Chun-mei fancies herself a female Stephen Chow.
People find her as funny as the Hong Kong comic,she says.
But she doesn't seem to understand that people laugh with Chow but laugh at her.
She hit the headlines late last year as the mother of a 12-year-old runaway,and soon grew infamous for her hunger for media attention,her Hokkien accent,and her insistence that she is rich beyond belief and hails from high society.
For months,Hsu -- thin,terribly-dressed and looking like a mordern-day Miss Havisham - was a chat-show curio,amusing TV viewers with her wild claims about her riches.
On Feb 8,she tried to become a bona fide TV star by performing on the prime-time variety programme,Big Brother's Return.
Media hype over her debut as a contracted performer might have helped the show's ratings,which hit a high of 8.1% in TW that Sunday.
But the true is ger appearance in the last third of the two-hour episode,to be telecast in S'pore tomorrow,was a bore.
The producers didn't know what to do with a "wacky woman" who obviously had no talent for actual performing.
Placed beside professionals,like the show's wisecracking host Chang Fei,she came across as an awkward amateur.
She started by singing a Hokkien song,LOVE CHA-CHA,but she was neither good nor as bodaciously bad as American Idol contestant "WILLIAM HUNG".
She was merely mediocre.
Later,she showed no signs of comic timing when Chung asked her to re-enact in sketch the time she was cornered in a carpark by a gangster who wanted protection money.
She appeared daft all right,pulling tissue paper out of a box and pretending that it was cold hard cash,but she didn't draw a laugh.
The best hit of her segment was when Chang subjected her to an impromptu pop quiz and made her the butt of the joke.
She didn't know who Hollywood A-lister Tom Cruise was and even mispronounced his name twice.
Her appearance on the show was such a disappointment that ratings slipped when she returned on Feb 15.
She may be getting all the tabloid inches now but she will soon be yesterday's news -- and Cruise will never know who she is either.
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ONLY HUNG WILL DO
Forget Janet Jackson.
American Idol reject William Hung's performance at a men's volleyball game at the University of Californis last Wednesday may soon be the most talked-about half-time show ever.
"Will!""Will!""Will!" went the crowd as the 21-year-old civil engineering student repeated his rendition of Ricky Martin's She Bangs--with the help of six dancers called The movement.
Their key move turned out to be avoiding getting walked into by him,but no one seemed to mind.
The music channel Fuse and NY-based record company Koch Entertainment offered him a record contract and music video production deal after his volleyball singing gig.But the offer drew a polite smile and no immediate acceptance.
Last week,Hung also appeared on Ellen DeGeneres' talk show to perform an abbreviated version of Martin's Shake Your Bon Bon.
"I Love Him !I Love Him !" a laughing DeGeneres later said.
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WHAT THE HELL.....................
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