dear parsley,
all the emails between hung and me are gone.. thanks to the stupid hotmail system.
i arranged them in a folder.. and the whole folder's gone. and so, a big part of me's gone. not that i read the emails at all, but at least it was there. however.. it's gone.. like.. totally. the very last connection between hung and i.. doesn't exsist anymore.
i know the feeling's called lost and possibly sad.. but.. i somehow don't quite feel it. maybe it's time for the whole thing to come to an end, for good.
and as for x, i don't know and ain't at all sure. when i said ' i might do something about it' i meant i might just tell him and run away.. but then when i come to think about it.. it's like nonsense.. so.. i have deicded not to for now.
i didn't see (for i felt) butterflies when i was typing the earlier msgs.. nor my hand were cold. but i was trying hard to remain calm though, that u were right.
nor do i think i know him. nope. not at all. the last night i spent in london, which was a sunday night, yp was there with us, chatting away. there was one point yp asked x if he's ever made phone calls to 'tao tz' (u know.. the famous female host..) x said of course not, international phone calls are very expensive, u know. err.. at the very moment, i felt my face turned red. umm.. for whatever reason.. it just did, i could feel the heat it was radiating.
how ever little i happen to know him.. it's always nice talking to him.. though very tiring.. cos he really makes me do quite a bit of thinking. on sunday early afternoon, we had this long chat.. and for the last hours or so i was the only one talking without me even knowing that.. i think it was quite amazing.. i should normally have had realised that and feel uncomfortable but for i didn't.. maybe he's a really good company to talk to.
umm.. i think i have lost my point here.. can't recall what exactly i was going to tell.. umm.. never mind.. when i do remember.. i'll write agian.
love, lovage.
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