民天就要去一個blind date,
從來沒有set up 一個這樣的date
心理卻也不特別興奮
但也許明天會不錯 but who knows
總覺得時間也差不多了
但心卻還是放不下
其實我知道 只要不再跟他連絡
心理就不會對他有牽掛
他說it will be nice if you are in Jakarta.
聽他這樣講 不曉得是什麼意思
其實我們彼此應該感覺的到
自從我們說分手之後
彼此之間的關係才漸漸的轉變
我也覺得在分手之後才開始認識他
他也見見的對我有不同的觀點
也漸漸的accept我進入他的生活
跟之前比較起來 已經有很大的轉變了
當自己面對相同的情況時就了解
weekend永遠約不倒是什麼樣的意思
以前跟他見面也一值都是再weekday下班的時後
時間很短,也很匆忙
不然就是星期天晚上這樣的時間
但漸漸的,我們開始花更多的時間相處
即使跟他去辦事情 他也不介意讓我在旁邊跟著
漸漸的感覺到他也慢慢的enjoy跟我在一起相處長一點的時光
到後來我感覺,只要我約他,他一定會出來,任何時間只要他free的話
是我自己多想了嗎
在他離開到印尼的這段時間
也覺得因為他情緒低潮
給他鼓勵 他跟我抱怨等等
也增進了我們之間的一點情誼
不知道對他來說是怎麼情況
但感覺他漸漸的也會把他的情緒表現在我的面前
當他心情不好時 depress時
都會跟我講
昨天也很欣慰 他說因為我的話讓他往好的方向想
也許 對他來說 我的正面開朗
是對他的負面思想的一種互補吧
我不曉得 在他心裡 我到底是什麼'ˋ的一個人
當他再跟朋友形容我十
他會用什麼樣的形容詞
只是 我感覺到
也許從我跟他開baby的玩笑開始
我們的話題也見見的開始有了另一層意義
他不斷的邀約我到那裡找他
他父母也說同樣的話
昨天更好校的是 我傳訊息給他爸爸
說如果R treat me nice and won't tease me all the time,maybe I'll consider to visit.
他回說of course I treat you nice.
他總是說他會對我很好
我也知道他其實是很照顧我的
為什麼會對他唸唸不忘呢
很想讓自己就這樣沉輪
在give it a try
但 必須知道的是
他到底想跟我說什麼
到底他心裡,有什麼要跟我說
可以讓我死了心
我想跟你說
seems like you are not going to tell me what you have in mind.
so there's something in my mind that I want to you.
I don't know where to start either,so let me just say,I think I still have some feelings for you.after we broke up,I won't say that I be more mature than before,but I do realize many things after that,and feel that I start to know you and our friendship is much better than before.I'm really enjoy spending time with you,even though you tease me all the time,but everytime when I think about you,I'm always pleased.
but there's a voice in my mind that tells me there's no future between us,not only because you mentioned you have problems with women,also I knew I can't never be the companion that you are looking for.
but even that,I'm still keep a little hope for us inside my heart,and I'm happy to play the part of your girl friend in front of your parent.
I'm not really sure why I tell you all these,but I did think a lot of us since we being together,sometimes I'm wondering if there's no your parent stress you to get merry,will you still need a girl friend and keep relationship with me?
that selling baby and ask you to merry me was start as a joke,but since you mentioned there's reasons for not doing that,and I really need that answer to fill all the quetion mark in my mind.maybe it'll help me to move on and start accept another relationship or even just give our relationship a perfect ending or something,
so,that's pretty much I want to say,it is awkward to tell you my feelings for you when we already broke up.but I like you so much,and hoping we both can be 100% comfortable in front of each other without hiding any feeling or things.
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