找到了一個partner
但是卻沒有換去心理的空虛感
physical的 partner
not the mentally one
maybe that's the reason.
but the good thing is,
finally find someone that can help me go through the lonely life.
eventhough he isn't the best,but for now, better then nothing.
am I to "easy going"?or still have excuse that it's base on a good relationship?but I know myself,maybe i'm a little too into it.but that just me. i'm enjoy the feeling of the intiment relationship.if we both agree about it,I shouldn't judge about myself too much isn't?
it just happen like this.
too lonely guys.
u told me last night that u try to control,but all the act u had that night, doen't seems like ur controling,at the beginiing when we suggest to go there,no one say no.eventhough we all sound like kidding.but still,in our mind,we wish something happen.actually at the first place,i though we would just hug and sleep all night, butdon't know maybe the atmospher just suddenly turn me on.and it just nothing to think about at the end.
i'm enjoy that feeling and moment,
eventhough I don't think he doing well,but I'm not going to tell anyone about it.because I don't want to critizie about how he is in front of my friend.at least I know that's something really metter to a man.i don't want to hurt him like this.
and last night, we both sort of agree that we can keep this strang relationship.and he seems like quite happy about it.me as well.
i like when we go somewhere at very late night,and crazy doing it till early morning,and then sleep very later next morning,and then do it again.it just feel so good and relax like this.
if that's someone I'm attracted to, that will be even wonderful.someone like mob,i'll want to have sx with him all day long won't feel tired.
so maybe just the physical thing leading me to like somebody.
or just because he is too far away so i didn't think about him too much now?
but i'm still think mob is the best i ever have.i'm have quite a few experience from now.4 men i had relationship with.j is very good.that slot italien was suck.don't even mention about the size.mob,is very good.he is such a good kisser,and the size was great too.but the kiss with him is the most thing I can't forget.someone just know how to kiss.i never met anyone like this.just so perfect excatly the kiss i'm looking for.
although his size is a little bit too big for me,but it just himself, trun me on no matter what.
and this one,actually he just not much different than i expect.but i didn't know that i'm actually quite right about it.maybe size does matter about the high of a guy.i can tell that he isn't too big. but just never had anyone like this.also, i knew that he barely think about how to do it himself.so i said to him, need more practice.maybe compare to him,i'm a little experience then him.and i bet none of his girlfriends are as good as i am.
they all virgin or maybe not much experience.
i knew that we won't be together,and i have confident myself.not u don't want me. i can being with u either.i think the woman he needs,should be someone like from his school.those woman never have boyfriend before.so he can be better then them in bed.otherwise,i don't think the wonmen like me, can stand the sex life like this.
but i want to teach him.teach him how to kiss and how to touch.otherwise i'll feel sorry for his future girlfriend.
just think about R,突然很想跟他說,如果下次有機會他跟我出去,又一直講電話,或是message的話,我想說,u know what.everytime when u go out with me, u always can't stop answering the phone or stop message.I never say anything because I know u are busy. but actually,it's really annoy for me.and I felt that u don't care to spend time with me.
no, u don't have to explain.i don't think anything can be such important that if u didn't message them back in 2 hours they will died.it just if u care and being considering, u will try to answer the message later or try to finish the phone call as soon as u can.
how many time did u see me talk in the phone in fornt of u? and how many time u see me message my friend back and force?very rare right? i didn't trying to complain to u or anything,but it just when u say that I didn't listen to u carefuly or didn't care about u too much,not understand u...etc.just because I seldom feel u do to same to me in the begining.
and maybe u dont even notice urself.because u never really treat me like treat someone u like.but mean while, u let me know that u care about me and u like me,miss me...etc. but all the things u did didn't make any sence.u just trying to say but didn't mean it.that make me feel really sad.
你試著想想 如果你跟一個朋友出去
短短的一餐飯裡 他不停的接電話 不停的回訊息 即使訊息來了他沒有馬上回,
但你也可以從他的眼神知道他依直再注意著剛剛來的新訊息
每次講幾句話 可能一下子又被打斷
而且 好幾次 你當著我的面跟別人聊天
還跟對方說沒關係
我即使跟我朋友出去 我也靜量不會再他們面前跟朋友講電話講太久
這是一主不尊重的感覺
你難道不曉得嗎
其實 每次想到你 都還是覺得一肚子氣
即使現在每次跟你出去
我都還是覺得 你約我出來
只是要跟我維持關係
並不是真的想約我
我會有這種感覺 我應該相信我的感覺
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