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167愛的鼓勵 0訂閱站台

3/30/2004

一轉眼已經3月底了, 這一個月內生活有了極大的變化
從老娘的掛病號,轉變成長期的抗戰
心理的痛苦時而麻痺,時而堅強
從住院的那天開始,到10個小時的注射,
淡黃的尿液漸漸轉變成血紅色
因為那一罐毒藥打進體內的關係吧
眼裡看著 心理驚著 人的身體如此脆弱
就這樣因為一小群壞細胞而讓一個人垮掉
看著那瓶毒藥打進娘的身體
直到回到家 我們才見識到所謂的副作用
那天在電梯裡娘突然的昏厥, 我的眼淚像壞掉的水管直噴出來
看到親人受的折磨 心在淌血…
這一陣子 情緒起起伏伏 在uncle小毛帶來注射的營養劑的鎮定下
心理的大石暫時放下了,知道至少媽媽不會因為吃不下東西而體力不支
從開刀的那晚,R就打了電話來,
每一天好幾封的訊息關心我們
之後的幾天也主動的打電話來,
今天還接到他爸媽打來的電話
心理真的很感動
此刻 終於感受到他其實對我是很關心的
先前的疑慮與心中的黑洞 都已經不重要了
想到他 心理也有著不捨
如果可以 會想幫他的忙 給他一個小孩
一個可以陪伴著他一生 當他生病時可以照顧他的小孩
對於自己之前的想法感到抱歉
現在終於可以感受到他的立場
但畢竟這不是件容易的事
只希望他能夠找到一個朋友幫他



Message March

3/12 Each time you say should not listen to your sister,but each time you listen say should not listen to your sister,but each time say should not listen to your
3/13
been doing reports since nine this morning.go swim now in mandarin pool.looks nice.then long shopping trip.we should spend weekend here sometimes if you come.
3/26
fed up get up early to catch flight.howz your bed sleep? Hope all ok at messy home.make sure nice and clean when she returns home.go fly now.tired
3/26
so soon? I thought would have to heal completely before start therapy.rodney delay to later flight.so I go alone now.think I better tell Rodney I am tired.
3/26
that’s nice dear.good you have so many friends come to keep your mum busy.keep her mind off the treatment as much as possible.me sleep soon.tired,you?
3/26
I guess you have to tell her what it really is but keep those megative people away.I feel like spend time with you and your mum.just say my mum feel not bad
3/26a bit better.still cough a little.tell her be strong and think positively.Miss you dear.
3/27
not see you in one year,but sooner.time is valuable.cant waste it.hope something works for your mum of what we spoke about. I think about it all the time

3/28 wow.you did well,and so did your friend.at my peak I could run it in 39min.now 45-50i think,howmum? I got good sleep.how about you?

3/28
is he Chinese or foreigh?what a mess.how he got your number?what your mum eat?better stretch your muscles or else tomorrow will besore.

3/28
go for meeting in half hour.give our mum anything she wants.buy those local orange to squeeze.not so acidic.they should be ready now to eat.
3/28
hope you bought local oranges.import Sunkist too acidic.not so good for herempty stomach.you better eat more after run.need energy for your mum
3/28
ok.talk later then dear.strech and eat well.you can’t get sick.i hope my meeting with rodneynot too long.want to go home to factory today.
3/28
finally finish meeting.back to Hilton.had to take bus cince so much political rally and traffic.i think go gym now.stay here tonight due to traffic.
3/29
its sounds positive.sorry delay.sending Rodney off.so tired.foot massage and relax tonight after finish work.your mum bit better?
3/29
just home.shop with peri and go shower foot massage now sign company documents.hope we can help.dont know what else to do.
3/29
lucky you.stephen and lu wei.go shower now.Miss you too.