I was only 13 when I first saw him. He was 34 at that time. I admit that I favor older men. I don’t know why. They are more like a man to me. Guys about my age just feel like boys, and I am not interested in boys. Once in a while, I might find a “boy” who is mature enough, but there is no chemistry.
Joe is a famous American singer. (Therefore, I have to change a lot of info about him so that no one can guess who he is.) I did not know anything about him nor see him before I went to America at age 13. I traveled there with my family, and I saw his short film in CA. When I saw him show up in the screen, my heart stopped. I never had that kind of feelings before. It was like an electric shock right into me. I could not move my eye away from him. I got butterflies in my stomach. I did not know what it was, but I could not stop thinking about him after the film.
After I came back to Taiwan, I started my research on him. Soon, I realized that I was in love. That was love at the first sight. I am not the type of person that would be a fan of someone. I knew at that time that my feeling for him was different from a celebrity fan’s. It is hard to explain, but if you think about how you feel when you are in love, that was how I felt. The more I researched on him, the more I found we had in common. I mean, some things very personal. And I could always relate to him. I realized that I could only keep my love for him secret because no one will understand it and will only take me as a crazy fan. I could not reach him, of course. Even if I had the chance, I should keep the feeling inside because I wouldn’t want to scare him away or treat me like a goofy. I knew at the beginning that my love for him would be a lonely story. I could only pray for the miracle.
(To be continued...)
文章定位：
