Busy busy life every day~!!
I realised that recently all my diary entries are about my beloved ’career’ - teaching, my beloved students...haha, yeah, teaching is my life, my life is teaching!!
But to tell the truth, I couldn’t sleep well these days...not having nightmare or whatever, but just having insomnia! OMG~!!
I’ve been moody and emotional these days, because of my job? my students? my way of teaching? my own life? yes, i think the answer is yes, to all of these problems..
my friends and colleagues said that I look pale, sick, tired every day..actually from the very first day of September, and I’m losing weight...but it’s a good news to me in some way!
sigh~ insomnia, nose and skin allergies are haunting me day by day! I can’t tolerate anymore! At that same time, I’m still wondering and searching the best way of teaching and my role in school and in front of my students.
I always hope to establish an image of being a ’good and nice’ teacher, but I start to question myself, what is my intention? Do I want all the students like me? Or am i doing any good to them? Am i really self-centred or am i really that great? i wonder, really wondering what should i do best.
Actually my answer to my question is both, i really want to do good to my students and i also want them to like me, but if my students have done something wrong, i always hesitate to whether i should punish/blame them harshly/strictly or not...but finally, to some circumstances, i did abandon my ’nice’ image, i chose to be strict and harsh to them, i was actually afraid that they would dislike or even hate me, but my ultimate concern is that i want them to learn something or to gain something from what they have done or from what they have done wrong..i don’t want to see them repeat those mistakes in the future, i really mean that..though i have to take risk of having some of my students saying bad behind me..but i’m doing something that is for the benefit of them, i’m not afraid anymore.
Sometimes i want to maintain a good and friendly image and positive atmosphere in the classroom, with a lot of joy and laughter, but i know these do not always happen...sometimes students will go over my boundary..they cannot control well themselves, so at least i have to be firm and to give out clear and understandable rules and instructions!!
Sigh, searching my suitable way and survival methods in school and with my students...
dear fighters...let’s work hard together~!! Fighting!!
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