I didn’t chat with others online until the excellent experience with the English scouts on Jan 10th .2003. From then on, I started to join in foreign chat rooms in order to see what’s the interesting part of chatting with others. At first, I felt kind of strange about what they were talking about and I tried to talk to any of them. The feelings inside couldn’t explain through words, but I still will try to describe how I feel about that. Because I was new in chat room, I didn’t know every sign or meaning they were talking about, I always started with “I am new here, and my English isn’t good, so please forgive me if I don’t know what you are talking about…” stuff like that I said. I remember my first time to chat with a foreigner, and it was good, but after a few talks, I figured out something impolite and rude in others’ words. Since one bad experience, it’s not easy for me to trust anyone online. Even so, I still have interests in chat room and I am curious about people from every country. I kept taking part in chatting with others and most of those I met were Indian or some Asian, Middle East people, a few American and European, etc. Some were polite, some were rude, and still others were just fine. So far, I found out something about those guys:(like chatting about sex or being impolite ones) they were too lonely sometimes so they wanted to find something new or fresh, so they kept talking about stuff like sex, nonsense, or nothing meaningful. All they wanted was there is anyone could release their loneliness or empty feelings through the Internet. Um…even I felt a little sad about them, I couldn’t let myself stay here, talking nonsense at all. So after I had that terrible experience, I became more careful about making friends online. What I care about most is: Where the person is from? And I will watch for what the person tried to talk about and if his words are worth to continue. Even though I like to meet someone new from all over the world, there is a little stuff I care about. I do really hate others lying to me or being like a barbarian. For example, one person said he’s from UK, and then he told me that he’s from somewhere else. He should tell me at the beginning, or maybe I wouldn’t feel like being offended. It’s always to lie to others originally. That makes me feel unrespected. Besides, I don’t believe there is anyone can accept someone lie to him/her. This feeling is totally bad and uncomfortable. I know it! However, there might be some good things happened; that is exactly opposite to the one I said: I met a few nice guys. First, I met Andy due to his misunderstanding, he thought that I am one of his friends, and then we talked to each and I enjoyed chatting with him. Even he’s seldom on Yahoo Messenger, we still keep in touch through e-mails. Second, in a lazy afternoon, I met Steve; he’s really really cool guy, coming from California. I cherish every moment to talk to him; because he makes me feel there are still good things occur in real life. I can get trust in others online. Thanks! But sometimes, I still feel kinda unreal; maybe just because I’m too sensitive to make things become worse or misunderstand something. Well, now that summer vacation’s over, and I can’t do this wonderful experience (Of course, I mean chatting with good guys.) like I used to, because this year is the most important one. I have to bring my soul back and make up my mind to study, or I might make myself regretful again. I can’t do this once more. There is no shortcut realizing one’s dreams, and all can be done is Keep Going and Never Give Up. If my friends do really care the friendships with me, and I think they won’t let me feel like I’m alone. (I mean online friends) All I want to express is: My friends, I cherish the relationship with all of you, and I wish we would keep in contact for a long time, no matter what happens. It’s not easy for me to trust people online, but you make me change my attitude. Thanks and keep in touch, guys. (Actually, I don’t know what I’m talking about though; just want to say something through words…) Anyway, I like making friends from different countries, and as long as I think of someone as one of my friends, I mean it. If I got more time and opportunities to meet someone new, I might. The most important one is: Keep in touch with the friends that I met online for a long time. (Still not knowing what I’m talking; no any idea, I’ve lost my mind and the situation got out of control then…)
from 6:20 am to 9:27 am,Aug. 31,2003
...thinking of someone...
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