This is probably the 100th time I say goodbye to you, nope, probably the 1000th time in my mind.
I can tell, we won't meet each other again for sure.
Not sure if this letter will be a long one, but I'll try to make it short.
Errrrr, it's kind of odd for me to introduce myself to you right now.
Anyways. There's onething I did not tell you and you might be already aware.
I was married and I got divorced on Feb. 2, 05.
When I was transferred there, I was considering about getting divorced with my ex.
I got ok salary but save shits as I told you.
Why? Because I'd been repaying my ex's fucking debts.
Last year, I realized that I couldn't change him so I decided to change myself.
This year, I paid out all his fucking debts which were under my name and I think I deserve a real break and a brandnew start.
This is why I divorced my ex and quit the job.
You know what so funny was?
How to leave my ex was my mental support to stay alive.
I feel hollow and empty cuz I have no goal all of the sudden.
I am so sick.
You came into my life when I was thinking things through.
Remember I told you I appreciate you in so many ways?
Thank you for the compliments you've ever given me even though they might not be true but still THANK YOU.
You gave me a hard push to face my own problem and divorced my EX.
God sent you to help me out. I truly believe so.
Now, your task is done so it's time to say good bye.
Thank you, indeed.
You once asked me several times why I came so fast.
If the reasons of falling in love can be listed out so easily, guess everyone would have been single right now.
Well, at least, I wanna expalin some things clearly.
I pretended I wouldn't get hurt because I wanted to catch every chance to see you, even the chance is tiny.
I pretended I was brave because I didn't wanna scare you away.
I pretended I was slutty and only wanna get laid because I wanna stay with you.
I used sex as the excuse because I couldn't find any other way out.
My pride was worn out and it couldn't be worse.
But you know what? I don't feel terrible cuz my true feelings have been gone for a long while since I was married.
I don't feel hurt or sad or happy or whatsoever. The only feeling I have is paralysis.
You are part of the reason for me to quit the job.
I know you love your girl friend and I don't wanna put myself in the situation like taking a roller coaster.
My emotion had been brought up and down and up and down by you. I hate this.
If we could have got close with each other here, instead, I bet we could become true friend forever.
I am so lost right now so please don't contact me at all.
Please pretend we never know each other ever and I would really appreciate it.
Wish you all the best.
With love.
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