紐約時報刊載了一篇非常有趣的文章:十五則婚前不能不問的問題!
1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
考慮是不是應該有小孩? 如果答案是"YES"的話,誰是將來主要負責照顧小孩的人?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
是不是清楚對方的財務狀況還有目標以及共同支出跟儲蓄的想法?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
是不是曾經討論過如何維持這個家庭,以及這個家庭的雜務(瑣碎的事情),將由誰來管理?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
我們是否都對自己的健康,無論是生理上或者是心理上的狀況,完整的告訴對方?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
我的另一半是否如我期望的那麼深情且溫柔?
6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
我們是否能公開且自在的討論"性需求","性喜好"還有"性恐懼"?
7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
將來臥房是否會有一台電視? 電視會為對方的生活帶來困擾!
8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
我們是否真心地互相傾聽而且真誠地思考對方的想法還有抱怨?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
我們是否了解彼此的宗教信仰與需求? 我們是否討論過我們的孩子何時會接受宗教或道德的教育?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
我們是否喜歡和尊敬彼此的朋友?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
我們是否尊敬彼此的父母且想過是否而是對方的父母是否會干涉我們的兩人世界? 結婚是兩個家庭的事情,得細心思考~不過無論如何都應該在自己的家裡為對方說話,才不會把問題擴大到家庭的衝突.
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
什麼原因使我的家庭讓你感到不悅或困擾?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
是不是還有某些東西,妳和我還沒準備好,是為了這個婚姻而拋棄的東西(這個講的應該是比較偏心理或習慣方面的事，在婚姻生活中，是不是有不願放棄、讓步的事情？)?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
是否我們其中一個人得到一個就業機會,但是上班位置卻離另外一個人的家庭很遠,我們是否仍然準備遷居? 遠地就業的問題在都市化以及就業機會高度競爭下一直都是一個問題.不過婚後在兩地工作也算是長距離戀愛嗎?會不會有潛在的問題?(for example, 台商在大陸包二奶)
15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?
是否我們對對方對婚姻的承諾有著充分的信心,並且這樣的承諾，無論遇到什麼挑戰，依然存在!?婚姻的核心價值,沒有這樣的考量就不必談結婚了!
大家對這十五個問題有什麼想法呢? 問問自己也問問自己將來的另一半吧!
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