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艾茵˙蘭德《阿特拉斯聳聳肩》|感覺自身存在的方式就是創造慾望

 

作者:
艾茵.蘭德 Ayn Rand
原書名:Atlas Shrugged
出版社:太陽社
出版日期:2009年07月05日
ISBN:9789868538801
直到翻看到最後一頁最後一字,我才真正意識、認知封面書名之下那一行字──【第一部試讀稿】,因為故事還沒有結束,內心諸多疑團還沒獲得釐清。

如果你的邏輯能力不強,那麼閱讀這本書會教你頻皺眉頭;如果你的主觀意識過於薄弱,那麼閱讀這本書將會全面傾毀你固有的既定思維,不由自主被文中種種論調牽著鼻子走。

你感覺痛苦,因為無法詆毀它所言的真實;那麼痛卻還想要承受更多,因為它逼視你面對,教你無法持續生活在假象之中,所以不如脖子一伸,圖個一刀斃命,來得痛快。

然而,刀已落,頭未斷,一條命依舊苟延殘喘,我……需要第二部、第三部。

這是掩卷之後湧現心中的初始感受。

Ayn Rand1

◎ 快樂是一個人的燃料;自己是幸福的動力

但這本精彩鉅作涵蓋多層面向,豐富得教人啞口。

首先是關於火車發展的演進史如何綿織夢想,以及和油田、煤礦攸息相關的生命共同體。

達格妮九歲時就已經下定決心,要接管家族企業塔格特泛陸運輸公司。她沒有試圖去理解自己喜歡鐵路的原因。儘管在當時,女人的職志從來只是相夫教子,也因此她承受的壓力更加龐大。

她清楚知道,她的工作就是她想要和所有的一切。在某個作品或宏偉的景觀面前,做一個被動的旁觀者。不是去獲得,而是去接受;不是去開始,而是去應對;不是去創造,而是去讚美。快樂是一個人的燃料。她自己是幸福的動力。

直到她遇見另一個同樣對工作懷抱相同情懷的男子,她才真正感受到幸福除了可以自生也能給予和接受。

那人是里爾登。他獨排眾議堅持研發合金,整整十年,遭逢無以計數的失敗、聽見綿延不斷的「不可能」,但都沒能教他喪志、打退堂鼓。直到他終於研發成功並且接獲第一筆鐵軌訂單,順利看見金屬溶液被注入成型模具。

工作完成了,他想。這個瞬間,他心裡並沒有百味雜陳,只剩下「安寧和莊重」,那是一種情緒的總和,無須再細究每一細微末節,過去的記憶不過是一種毫無用處的耽溺。

他應該快樂卻感覺孤獨──家人指責他眼下心上只有工作,認為那是他逃避什麽的緣故,卻從來未曾想過,工作之於他從來只有愛與熱情,那是生命的本質,怎會和逃避劃上等號?直到遇見達格妮,終於他不再孤獨,然而那違背他的良知、道德。

Ayn Rand2

◎ 無關乎愛、價值、忠誠和尊重,只是需要

因為在他還沒認識她之前,他已然對她有了身體的慾望。感覺自己如獸,蔑視自己,然而終於還是難以抗衡地妥協,甚至宣告,為了擁有她,他可以放棄礦山、合金和自己畢生的成就,是墮落但全盤接受且想盡辦法沉淪。

這無關乎愛、價值、忠誠和尊重,只是需要。

只是他沒料想到,達格妮竟也做如是想。

她說,她想要他。那慾念是動物的本能。當她看見他在火車箱裡傲視一切的模樣,她就沒法無動於衷。她不需要他的心、意志、他這個人甚至他的靈魂,只要他帶著原始的慾望來找她。除了被他唾棄的快感之外,其餘她都不要。之於他的墮落,卻是她的驕傲,她會對外大聲宣稱,自己和他睡過,因為那是她賺來的。

可以理解兩人的糾葛?關於愛、慾。我們高唱愛的清高、鄙視慾的粗鄙,然而難道愛不可能單純只是慾的化身,對那人的慾求不是肢體的曼妙、不是追求快感,而是力量的追索,那種對生命激情的燃燒,需要那樣的渴望、需要肌膚緊緊交纏才得以感覺饜足、圓滿?

那是一種感覺自身存在的方式,也許得不到世俗的什麽(一個單身、一個已婚)但他們知道必須要創造出自己的慾望。

Atlas Shrugged2

◎ 金錢財富和權力,只是附加價值

透過作者的描述,你可以從中看到火車奔馳原野的英姿、那因為軌道材質不同而展現的輕裝便捷的姿態,行進的速度加快,彷彿就要騰空飛起……

你可以看見當夢想得以成真,那鼓動的雀躍、欣喜如何排山倒海而來,彷彿已經握有擘畫世界的鑰匙和力量、未來可以隨心所欲,只要你願意。

因此你再不能回頭,你跨出第一步,就必須跟上第二步,然而那是如此自然,你甚至迫不期待,你渴望可以走得更長更遠。

餘下的,只有如何走得更長更遠、如何解決每一個橫梗在前的阻礙。

這其中當然牽涉金錢財富和權力,只是它們是附加價值而不是奮鬥的動力。

一如我們經常聽見想要創造歷史、讓自己、家、社會、國家甚至世界變得更好。但真正能夠付諸行動的又有多少?又是什麽促使人想要「好」並且「更好」。

牧師曾對書中人物說道,我們必須一直追求我們所擁有最好的東西。

為什麽?而怎樣才能算得上好?

而更重要的是,作者透過故事言說關於自由經濟的觀點、關於利己和造福大眾一念之間的差距、少數人如何打著道德公益的旗幟,為自身利益操縱政治、法律,甚至還教受害者開始質疑自己的信念!

教我讀得瞠目結舌、義憤填膺。

Atlas Shrugged

◎ 是無恥還是無知?

我想起前段時間,有人大言不慚地指責我,不要總以為自己是對。我並沒有反擊,當然免不了憤怒,但不想浪費生命在無謂的事情上。

除此之外,弔詭之處在於,因為當他如是宣稱,就已經自以為自己是對的,不是嗎?

一如書中角色之一,當他年少,被問及,長大後要做什麼時,他脫口道,只要是對的。只是及長,他發現,做的事就應該是對的,然而卻往往出現迥異的狀態。

這就是答案?一如有人告訴他,這就是問題的所在,沒有絕對的是非對錯,事情從來不是非黑即白般分明對立。

我們都清楚這是真相,只是當有人可以顛非倒是、並且還訴諸道德、公義,你忍不住質疑,那究竟是無恥還是無知?

我喜歡這本書的顛覆和重建,關於人生觀、作人處事,關於生命的種種疑問甚至作為,有些論點的確早已耳熟能詳,但你必須注意,這本書寫就於一九五七年,因此當時所引發的震撼,也許更甚於原子炸彈。

迄今我仍能感受等同威力。

故事緊湊,論調發人深思卻不流於說教,讓人想以更嚴肅的觀點對照自己所有,無論是物質還是精神層面。

除此之外,也為我們揭開世界、生命的另一層面紗,以諸多複雜的角色的人生態度、以環環相扣的故事脈絡,一氣呵成,教人無法罷手。


圖片出處| http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/15/business/15atlas.html

http://a2.vox.com/6a00c225217eb1549d0109815f2fd2000d-500pi



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