If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, my parents would have about two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them. They're quite touchy about anything like that, especially my father. They're nice and all--I'm not saying that--but they're also touchy as hell. Besides, I'm not going to tell you my whole goddam autobiography or anything. I'll just tell you about this madman stuff that happened to me around last Christmas just before I got pretty run-down and had to come out here and take it easy. I mean that's all I told D.B. about, and he's my brother and all. He's in Hollywood. That isn't too far from this crumby place, and he comes over and visits me practically every week end. He's going to drive me home when I go home next month maybe. He just got a Jaguar. One of those little English jobs that can do around two hundred miles an hour. It cost him damn near four thousand bucks. He's got a lot of dough, now. He didn't use to. He used to be just a regular writer, when he was home. He wrote this terrific book of short stories, The Secret Goldfish, in case you never heard of him. The best one in it was "The Secret Goldfish." It was about this little kid that wouldn't let anybody look at his goldfish because he'd bought it with his own money. It killed me. Now he's out in Hollywood, D.B., being a prostitute. If there's one thing I hate, it's the movies. Don't even mention them to me.
如果你真的要聽，首先你可能想知道我出生在哪裡，還有我的噁爛童年怎樣，還有我爸媽生我之前都在幹嘛，還有有的沒的大衛．考伯菲〔塊肉餘生錄〕一樣的爛屎，但我不爽講這些，老實跟你講。首先第一點，那些鳥事很煩，然後第二點，如果我說了什麼我爸媽的私人瑣事他們肯定每人吐血兩次。對這些事情他們很敏感，特別是我爸。他們人是很好什麼的——我不想這樣講他們——但就是哭爸的敏感。再說，我也不是要跟你講我整部去他媽的自傳什麼洨的。我就只跟你講我去年聖誕節前後發生了什麼瘋鳥事，後來我實在爛斃了，只好出來在這放鬆一下。我是說我跟D.B.就說這些，還有他就是我哥。他現在在好萊塢，那邊離這個洨鳥地方不太遠，所以他差不多每個週末都過來找我，我可能下個月就回家，到時候他要來載我。他剛搞到一台Jaguar，這種小英國貨一小時可以跑到兩百英里，這花了他他媽的快四千塊。他有錢的很，現在，以前他不是這樣，以前他待在家的時候，只是個常駐寫手。他寫過一本雞巴好的短篇小說，叫《秘密金魚》，免得你沒聽過他。裡面最讚的一篇就是〈秘密金魚〉，講得是一個小鬼死都不肯讓別人看他的金魚，因為那是他自己花錢買的。迷死我了。現在他跑進好萊塢，D.B.這傢伙，去當個賤貨。世界上我最討厭的東西，就是電影，死都別跟我提那些。
Where I want to start telling is the day I left Pencey Prep. Pencey Prep is this school that's in Agerstown, Pennsylvania. You probably heard of it. You've probably seen the ads, anyway. They advertise in about a thousand magazines, always showing some hotshot guy on a horse jumping over a fence. Like as if all you ever did at Pencey was play polo all the time. I never even once saw a horse anywhere near the place. And underneath the guy on the horse's picture, it always says: "Since 1888 we have been molding boys into splendid, clear-thinking young men." Strictly for the birds. They don't do any damn more molding at Pencey than they do at any other school. And I didn't know anybody there that was splendid and clear-thinking and all. Maybe two guys. If that many. And they probably came to Pencey that way.
我打算從我離開賓夕中學那天開始講。賓中這所學校在賓州的艾傑斯鎮，你八成聽說過它，不然你八成看過廣告，管他的。他們大概找了一千家雜誌刊廣告，總是秀些屌面人騎著馬跨欄，好像你在賓中就整天打馬球沒事做。在這附近一帶我甚至連個馬屁都沒見過。然後在這張騎馬人的圖底下，它總是這樣寫：「自1888年起，我們就塑造孩子成為卓越榮耀、思慮清晰的年輕人。」講給鳥聽。在賓中他們也沒比其他學校多幹什麼他媽的塑造，而且我也不知道賓中有什麼人卓越榮耀思慮清晰跟什麼洨。也許有兩個，頂多就這樣。而且他們八成在進賓中時就是那副樣子。
Anyway, it was the Saturday of the football game with Saxon Hall. The game with Saxon Hall was supposed to be a very big deal around Pencey. It was the last game of the year, and you were supposed to commit suicide or something if old Pencey didn't win. I remember around three o'clock that afternoon I was standing way the hell up on top of Thomsen Hill, right next to this crazy cannon that was in the Revolutionary War and all. You could see the whole field from there, and you could see the two teams bashing each other all over the place. You couldn't see the grandstand too hot, but you could hear them all yelling, deep and terrific on the Pencey side, because practically the whole school except me was there, and scrawny and faggy on the Saxon Hall side, because the visiting team hardly ever brought many people with them.
總而言之，那天正好是要跟薩克遜．霍爾中學打美式足球的星期六。跟薩克遜．霍爾中學的這場比賽在賓中這邊被當成是件大事。它是今年的最後一場比賽，而且要是賓中沒贏，你就該跑去自殺或幹嘛的。我記得下午三點左右我站到湯姆森山丘的哭爸頭頂上，就在革命戰爭〔獨立戰爭〕跟什麼鬼打過的神經加農砲旁邊。從這可以你看見整個球場，而且你可以看見兩隊在那邊到處幹來幹去。雖然觀眾看臺看不夠清，但你可以聽見他們整個在加油吶喊，賓中這邊又深又猛，因為除了我大概整個學校的人都去了，然後薩克遜．霍爾那邊又虛又娘，因為客場球隊很難帶一票人跟著。
There were never many girls at all at the football games. Only seniors were allowed to bring girls with them. It was a terrible school, no matter how you looked at it. I like to be somewhere at least where you can see a few girls around once in a while, even if they're only scratching their arms or blowing their noses or even just giggling or something. Old Selma Thurmer--she was the headmaster's daughter--showed up at the games quite often, but she wasn't exactly the type that drove you mad with desire. She was a pretty nice girl, though. I sat next to her once in the bus from Agerstown and we sort of struck up a conversation. I liked her. She had a big nose and her nails were all bitten down and bleedy-looking and she had on those damn falsies that point all over the place, but you felt sort of sorry for her. What I liked about her, she didn't give you a lot of horse manure about what a great guy her father was. She probably knew what a phony slob he was.
每次美式足球賽總是沒什麼女的來。只有高年級的才被容許帶女孩子跟他們看球。不管你怎麼看，這都是很垃圾的學校。我喜歡待在你至少可以偶爾在附近看到幾個妹的地方，就算她們只是在手上抓抓癢或者擤擤鼻子還是傻笑幹嘛的。西爾瑪．瑟摩老妹——她是校長的女兒——倒是常在球賽出現，但她完全不是會讓你狂哈想上的菜。雖然，她算是不錯的女生。我有次在從艾傑斯鎮發車的公車上坐在她旁邊，然後我們有一句沒一搭的聊了一下。我蠻喜歡她的。她有個大鼻子，而且指甲都咬到爛還血淋淋的，而且她還塞一堆他媽的胸墊搞得奶子不是奶子，但你對她只會覺得有點可憐。我喜歡她的地方是，她不會對你灌一堆她老爸這人多偉大的馬屎尿。她八成也知道他是個怎樣的假屌爛渣。
The reason I was standing way up on Thomsen Hill, instead of down at the game, was because I'd just got back from New York with the fencing team. I was the goddam manager of the fencing team. Very big deal. We'd gone in to New York that morning for this fencing meet with McBurney School. Only, we didn't have the meet. I left all the foils and equipment and stuff on the goddam subway. It wasn't all my fault. I had to keep getting up to look at this map, so we'd know where to get off. So we got back to Pencey around two-thirty instead of around dinnertime. The whole team ostracized me the whole way back on the train. It was pretty funny, in a way.
我站在湯姆森山丘而沒下去看球賽的原因，是因為我才剛跟擊劍隊從紐約回來。我還是擊劍隊去他媽的經理。責任很大。我們那天早上為了跟麥柏尼學校的擊劍賽跑到紐約，結果，我們沒比到什麼賽，我把比賽的劍跟裝備跟什麼鳥的通通掉在去他媽的地鐵裡。這不全是我的錯，我要一直站起來去看地圖，我們才知道要在哪裡下車。於是我們才兩點半就回到賓中，而不是晚餐時間。回程的列車上全隊一整路沒人鳥我。某方面來說，這蠻好笑的。
The other reason I wasn't down at the game was because I was on my way to say good-by to old Spencer, my history teacher. He had the grippe, and I figured I probably wouldn't see him again till Christmas vacation started. He wrote me this note saying he wanted to see me before I went home. He knew I wasn't coming back to Pencey.
我沒下去看球的另一個原因是，因為我要去跟史賓塞老頭說再見，我歷史老師。他得了流行性感冒，我看在聖誕假期開始前八成是見不到他。他寫了張字條給我，說是想在我回家之前見個面，他知道我不會回來賓中。
I forgot to tell you about that. They kicked me out. I wasn't supposed to come back after Christmas vacation on account of I was flunking four subjects and not applying myself and all. They gave me frequent warning to start applying myself--especially around midterms, when my parents came up for a conference with old Thurmer--but I didn't do it. So I got the ax. They give guys the ax quite frequently at Pencey. It has a very good academic rating, Pencey. It really does.
忘了跟你講，學校踢我出去了。聖誕假期以後我就不用回來，由於我當掉了四科又不精進自我啥洨的。他們有事沒事就警告我要精進自我——特別是期中考左右，那時我爸媽跑來跟瑟摩老頭開檢討會——但我沒這麼搞，於是我搞了個Χ。他們在賓中有事沒事就給人個Χ。這有很好的教學評價，賓中這學校，真是有夠好。
Anyway, it was December and all, and it was cold as a witch's teat, especially on top of that stupid hill. I only had on my reversible and no gloves or anything. The week before that, somebody'd stolen my camel's-hair coat right out of my room, with my fur-lined gloves right in the pocket and all. Pencey was full of crooks. Quite a few guys came from these very wealthy families, but it was full of crooks anyway. The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has--I'm not kidding. Anyway, I kept standing next to that crazy cannon, looking down at the game and freezing my ass off. Only, I wasn't watching the game too much. What I was really hanging around for, I was trying to feel some kind of a good-by. I mean I've left schools and places I didn't even know I was leaving them. I hate that. I don't care if it's a sad good-by or a bad goodby, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it. If you don't, you feel even worse.
總而言之，那就是十二月，而且天氣冷得像巫婆的奶頭，尤其是在這白癡山丘的頭上。我只套上我的雙面夾克沒戴手套殺洨的。上個星期，某個傢伙從我房間幹走我的駱駝毛外套，連同我剛好在外套口袋裡的毛內襯手套有的沒有的。賓中滿是賊屄，不少人家裡都很有錢，但總而言之滿是賊屄。學校越貴，賊屄越多——我不是在扯淡。總之，我一直站在神經加農砲旁邊，看著下面的球賽，凍到我屁眼脫肛，結果，我也沒怎麼專心看球。其實我在那邊鬼混是為了，我想試著感覺某種再見的氣氛。我的意思是，我以前也離開過一些學校一些地方，我自己都不知道自己要離開。我討厭這樣。我不管它會是傷心的再見還是爛掉的再見，但當我要離開一個地方時我會希望知道我正要離開。如果你不知道，感覺更肚爛。
I was lucky. All of a sudden I thought of something that helped make me know I was getting the hell out. I suddenly remembered this time, in around October, that I and Robert Tichener and Paul Campbell were chucking a football around, in front of the academic building. They were nice guys, especially Tichener. It was just before dinner and it was getting pretty dark out, but we kept chucking the ball around anyway. It kept getting darker and darker, and we could hardly see the ball any more, but we didn't want to stop doing what we were doing. Finally we had to. This teacher that taught biology, Mr. Zambesi, stuck his head out of this window in the academic building and told us to go back to the dorm and get ready for dinner. If I get a chance to remember that kind of stuff, I can get a good-by when I need one--at least, most of the time I can. As soon as I got it, I turned around and started running down the other side of the hill, toward old Spencer's house. He didn't live on the campus. He lived on Anthony Wayne Avenue.
我算走運，突然我就想到一件事，有效的讓我知道我就要滾出這個哭爸的地方。我突然的記起那一次，在十月左右，我和羅伯特．提奇納和保羅．坎貝爾在教學大樓前面丟美式足球，他們都是好人，尤其是提奇納。那是在晚飯之前，天已經很黑還在黑下去，但不管怎樣我們一直在拋接球。天持續變黑又變黑，黑到我們連球都快看不見，但我們就是不想停下來。最後我們被迫停止了。教生物的老師，贊比西先生，從教學大樓的窗戶伸出頭來叫我們回宿舍去準備吃晚飯。如果我有需要的時候我都能夠想起這類鳥事，我就能說個再見——至少大多數可以。我一抓住這種感覺，立刻轉身開始跑下另一側的山坡，朝著史賓塞老頭家。他不住在校區裡，他住在安東尼．韋恩大道。
I ran all the way to the main gate, and then I waited a second till I got my breath. I have no wind, if you want to know the truth. I'm quite a heavy smoker, for one thing--that is, I used to be. They made me cut it out. Another thing, I grew six and a half inches last year. That's also how I practically got t.b. and came out here for all these goddam checkups and stuff. I'm pretty healthy, though.
我一路直奔到〔學校〕大門邊，然後等了一下直到我喘過氣來。我呼吸不順，老實跟你講。我菸抽得很兇，這是一個原因——這是說，我以前抽得很兇，現在他們逼我戒了。另外一個原因是，我去年長了六英吋半。那也是為什麼我幾乎得了肺結核（t.b.）然後為了一堆去他媽的檢查跟什麼鳥的跑來這裡。其實，我健康得很。
Anyway, as soon as I got my breath back I ran across Route 204. It was icy as hell and I damn near fell down. I don't even know what I was running for--I guess I just felt like it. After I got across the road, I felt like I was sort of disappearing. It was that kind of a crazy afternoon, terrifically cold, and no sun out or anything, and you felt like you were disappearing every time you crossed a road.
總而言之，我一喘過氣立刻跑過204號公路。路面哭爸的都是冰，我他媽的差點跌倒。我甚至不知道我是在跑啥小——我猜我就只是想跑。我跑過馬路之後，都覺得自己有點快掛了。就是那種發神經的下午，雞巴冷的，也沒陽光什麼洨，然後你每穿過一條路都覺得你快掛了。
Boy, I rang that doorbell fast when I got to old Spencer's house. I was really frozen. My ears were hurting and I could hardly move my fingers at all. "C'mon, c'mon," I said right out loud, almost, "somebody open the door." Finally old Mrs. Spencer opened. it. They didn't have a maid or anything, and they always opened the door themselves. They didn't have too much dough.
靠，我一到史賓塞老頭家就猛按門鈴。我真的凍到不行，我的耳朵在痛而且指頭動都很難動。「快啊、快啊、」我都要直接叫出來了，差點，「…誰來開個門。」最後史賓塞老太太開了門，他們沒有傭人什麼鬼的，所以他們總是自己來開門。他們沒什麼錢。
"Holden!" Mrs. Spencer said. "How lovely to see you! Come in, dear! Are you frozen to death?" I think she was glad to see me. She liked me. At least, I think she did.
Boy, did I get in that house fast. "How are you, Mrs. Spencer?" I said. "How's Mr. Spencer?"
"Let me take your coat, dear," she said. She didn't hear me ask her how Mr. Spencer was. She was sort of deaf.
「霍爾頓！」史賓塞太太說。「見到你真好！進來吧，親愛的！你凍得快死了吧？」我想她見到我是很高興。她喜歡我。至少我認為她是啦。
靠，我當然是儘快衝進屋內。「你好嗎？史賓塞太太。」我說。「史賓塞先生好嗎？」
「外套交給我來，親愛的。」她說。她沒聽見我問她史賓塞先生的話。她有點耳背。
She hung up my coat in the hall closet, and I sort of brushed my hair back with my hand. I wear a crew cut quite frequently and I never have to comb it much. "How've you been, Mrs. Spencer?" I said again, only louder, so she'd hear me.
"I've been just fine, Holden." She closed the closet door. "How have you been?" The way she asked me, I knew right away old Spencer'd told her I'd been kicked out.
"Fine," I said. "How's Mr. Spencer? He over his grippe yet?"
"Over it! Holden, he's behaving like a perfect--I don't know what. . . He's in his room, dear. Go right in."
她把我的外套掛進門廳的壁櫥，我稍微用手把頭髮往後撥，我有事沒事剪個平頭，所以一向不怎麼需要梳頭。「你過得好嗎，史賓塞太太？」我又說了一遍，只是比較大聲，所以她聽見了。
「我過得很好，霍爾頓。」她關上壁櫥的門。「你過得好嗎？」從她問我的口氣，我馬上知道史賓塞老頭告訴過她我被踢出學校了。
「還好，」我說。「史賓塞先生好嗎？他感冒好了沒有？」
「好了好了！霍爾頓，他好得像個沒事的——我不知道怎麼講……他在他房裡，親愛的，你進去吧。」
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