I only know that every step is not easy for the now me. Actually, there is nothing I can afford to lose from now on, “Nothing” is the thing I have now, it is hard to believe, but it is really true. I need to restart in many aspects of my life, and the worst thing is that I am not so confident about whether I could make it.
To be honest, I have drawn a lot of online lots for a variety of problems I am not sure that whether I could solve them or not, whenever I get a sense of uncertainty, I go for lots, it is really not an action that I should do, However, it is really the action that I would actually take when I feel anxious, the lucky content of the lot could ease my mind eventually, or precisely, temporally. And it is the only recreation that an examinee like me could do for leisure.
These days, may be the most dejected period in my life. I have never imagined that I could be a person with nothing, it is really hard for me to believe, however, life is always bitter than we thought, and there is nothing more normal than this situation. Everyone in the world has to take that as a normal state of life, and I am not of exception, too. To this point, it is really fair for everyone in the world.
However, I need to stir myself up for the bright future therefore I can keep the optimistic and hardworking and promising personality of my own. I don’t want to change what I am just because of some difficulties I encountered, maybe it means that I need to take more time and efforts to overcome, however, if evading away and sighing with regret for the rest of my life is the action I choose to take finally, it would definitely a intolerable thing that would change me forever, a giving up person is the least kind of person I want to be.
It was, it is, and it will be.
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