悠悠桃源 2009:Give thanks in Everything. ｛如欲轉載，煩請註明出處，謝謝｝ {Plz let me know if you find any grammatical mistakes in my articles:] Thx a lot!}

Oct. 12, 2009

“A man who starts anxiously watching to see whether he is going to sleep is very likely to remain wide awake.  …what matters is the nature of the change in itself, not how we feel while it is happening.  It is the change from being confident about our own efforts to the state in which we despair of doing anything for ourselves and leave it to God.” C.S. Lewis. Mere Christianity. p.146 printed by Harper San Francisco, copyright renewed in 1980.

We sometimes are so caught up by the tiny dot that we miss out the bigger picture and get off the track.  I recalled last year getting over my ex-date.  I threw myself into church activities.  The next thing I knew was realizing being better off without him.  To be perfectly honest, I enjoyed his company, but I did not love him (ok, maybe like a part of him, but not the whole package).  After the breakup, I was happy with my small group, church life, new circle of friends, and better understanding my desires of this world.  All I did (or what God did) was to shift off my focus.

Right before I met Angela, an idea sparked in my mind.  As I was hoping to find out what was in T's mind and heart, the best thing I could do was to forget about him.  (Besides, I was so distracted from my work.)  “I should stop praying for him for a week.”  Why?  When you prayed for someone, that someone was in your thoughts.  To get him off my mind completely, I knew this would work.  This was truly “letting him go.”  Just being friends, just go with the flow to wherever God leads.  As my wise Fish said, “If you were expecting way too much from him and got all tensed up when you were around him, you two would never get closer, because you would be so worried about what you did, what you said, and there would be always a tall wall around your heart which he could not break through.  Eventually, you would be screwed.”  (Fine, I added the last sentence.)

“Have you ever paused and asked for guidance from God?” Yesterday’s sermon was about 2 Samuel 6.  David learned his lesson in a not-so-easy way at the end.  That got me thinking: God would still want me to focus on the tasks that I’m supposed to accomplish, rather than being distracted towards pleasing a man or pretending being someone else.  While registering for youth retreat counselor, I needed to fill out the question “How would you describe yourself?”  I thought about it, and put “I am who I am.”  My sis continued suggesting me to keep my hair long, which I could never do.  (Btw, I really like short hair; super-short is what I’m talking about)  No, I love the way God made me and would love to be shaped into whichever form God intends to, but not to change me for some guy.  Some people call this “stubborn,” and I view this “being true to yourself.”

Your attitudes decide who you are.  You can choose to focus on the dark side of life and whine about it or be cynical about everything all the time, but you can also choose to be grateful for what you have and cherish it while God let you use it.  Whenever a discussion goes off the track, I usually say “Focus, focus, people” in a gentle or funny way.  So I would say: Focus, focus, Peach!