Missing...missing u so much...
missing all the things u did for me...
even though i don't know if that is because u know what happened to me recently or not...
but i can feel...
the way u treat me...just like what they said...is different...
i want to know what kind of feeling that u have with me....
this time...i will think about it clearly...
it won't be like last time...did the wrong thing...
won't be like don't know what i am feeling and do the wrong thing...
summer told me...if i like u...just keep going...
if i don't like u...don't give u any hope...
i understand it...really...
i don't want to be like that anymore...
for u...i will think about it clearly...
when i go back...and still have that kind of feeling...
i will believe that is true...
am i just think that u are another Calvin??
i don't think so...
because u are different than him...
haha...u can't understand all the things that i wrote...
but u know what is my feeling...
i know u can understand me...
and i can understand ur feeling too....
now...
i just want to know u more....
even though we are just best friends....
i still want to know u more...
only in front of u....
i can cry again and again....
only in front of u....
i can be a girl who always cry....
u are the first guy who see me cry so often....
u are the first guy who see that i am weakness...
who can be like u....
who can hear that i cried when we talk on phone....
that i cried and like an ugly girl....
who can be like u...
unless Angela...no one will see it....
Angela is my best friend....
and so do u....
but is there any other kind of feeling in our friendship??
i will try to know it....
because of u...so i want to think about it....
i am so happy about that i have u at the last tow weeks....
wherever i go...even though i didn't want to go that day....
u asked me to go....because u said that they are my friends too....
even though i wanna be with u....
and i was worried....worried about that if u don't wanna be with me or not
when i called u....when i got into the car....
i know that u wanna me to be good....
and u try to say something to make me feel better....
that night...i met him again...and i was afraid....
u just said something that wanna me to be better....
all the things u did for me....makes me feel better and better....
hold with ur hands in the car....
big hugs before i left....
i know i am in a safety place....
i know that u won't leave me alone....
those things....for me....are enough....
now...i like u...it's real....
u are not the shadow of Calvin....
cuz u are different than him....
Paco....thx so much....
i have u....even though we aren't being together....
i won't have any feeling of regretful....cuz we are good friends....
and when i go to the university....
i won't forget u....won't do the things that u said....
believe me....
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