....after the second „Dialogues des Carmelites“ performance.
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Last Friday I went to see “Dialogues des Carmelites” for the second time. Since Felicity Palmer was in Cleveland singing Klytamnestra with Franz Welser-Most, the part of old prior was took over by Slyvie Brunnet, who also sang Carmen at OZ couple weeks ago. (A very odd repertoire, I must say) I haven’t seen her Carmen, but her old prior was fantastic. Her voice is warm and powerful. Even though she tried very hard to sound old, but a certain youthfulness in her voice wasn’t conceivable. (Or perhaps it’s because I still have Felicity Palmer’s Old prior stuck in my mind.) Nonetheless, she was great so was the rest of the cast.
“Dialogues” was my first “Poulenc-experience”. I love the music. I find it utterly beautiful and somehow addictive and intoxicating, specially the farewell scene between Blanche and her brother Chevalier de La Force which is so beautiful that it makes my heart ache. But frankly, after the second performance of “Dialogues” and some thinking, I still don’t know how to “deal” with this opera. I mean, generally, I have a sense of closure at the end of an opera performance (or a play or movie). I identify myself with the character(s) on stage and I experience a ride of emotion- roller-coaster, love, pain, loss, hate or happiness. Through this, I free myself from my own emotional baggage. After leaving the theater, I often feel relieved, satisfied, lighter……“purged”. (IIRC, this “cleansing” effect of theater is first described by Aristotle.) This did not happen when I got out the “Dialogues”. I had the feeling of carrying this weight, this inescapable haunting pressure (for lack of better word) Blanche experienced, even I left the theater, as if the opera hadn’t ended.
I know this opera is about overcoming your fear of death. But for me, death is the most natural thing. There’s no fear to be overcome. Hey, when you have to go, you have to go, there’s nothing to it. OTOH, why am I experiencing this daunting feeling of inevitable coming of death? Am I just acting tough, but subconsciously scare shitless of death?
Anyway, there’s more than just overcoming the fear of death in "Dialogues”. I don’t know what, but I KNOW, there are a lot more to be discover in “Dialogues”. I’m going to dig out my “Dialogues” recording and have another bizarre emotion-roller-coaster ride. Ugh, I hate beautiful music that screws up your head totally. If you would ever see me going total mental and schizo, please just shoot me and relief me from my misery.
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PS. That picture is from this year's Salome production at Metropolitan Opera NYC (origin unknown). Strangely this picture describes my mood right now very well.
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