(10/20/09)
我以前很愛玩,現在除了接送小孩、採買、在附近散步之外,整天窩在家裡。女兒更宅,剛成為teenager就開始顯現叛逆的癥兆,弟弟想去公園、圖書館、商場,她總是說:「妳帶他去就好了,我已經可以單獨在家了。」
我知道她喜歡看YouTube的星光大道實況,玩Facebook各種希奇古怪的測驗,沒人在家她可以掌握電視主控權,不必和弟弟搶,所以外出時間不長的話,我會放她自由,但是要花半天以上的情況,或是到沒去過的地方,我就希望她同行,多走走看看外面的世界。
有時好說歹說,她才心不甘情不願的出門,一路臭臉相向還出言頂撞,讓大家都不好受。遙想我青少年階段,師長為尊,藤條至上,哪敢叛逆?有時我耐著性子跟她談,心裡真想把她抓過來揍一頓,必須不斷提醒自己面對的是個彆扭的好孩子,以及回想她幼年可愛的模樣,才能壓下胸中的氣。
讀紀伯倫的「先知」裡面的「孩子」也是一劑良藥,建議為人父母者不但一定要讀,最好能背下來不時默念,驅除鬱悶的功效有如大蒜之於吸血鬼。
紀伯倫的先知〈論孩子〉by Kahlil Gibran
一個懷中抱著孩子的婦人說,對我們說說孩子吧。
於是他(先知)說:
你的孩子並不是你的。
他們是「生命」對他自身的渴慕所生的子女。
他們經你而生,卻不是你所造生。
他們與你相伴,但是並不屬於你。
你可以給他們你的愛,卻非你的思想。
因為他們擁有自己的思想。
你只能圈囿他們的身體而非靈魂,
因為他們的靈魂寓居在明日的住所中,而那是非你所能觀覽的地方,甚至不在你的夢中。
你可以盡力去模仿他們,但是不要指望他們會和你相像。
因為生命是不倒行的,也不會在昨日停留。
你是弓,而你的孩子是從弦上射發的生命的箭矢。
那射手看到了無盡路上的標靶,於是他用神力將你扯滿,讓他的箭急馳遠射。
你應在射手的掌中感到歡欣;
因為他愛飛去的箭矢,也愛靜存於掌中的彎弓。
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children. And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
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