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Autobiography

by Gloria Feb 12,2002

＜About Myself＞
I was born in Taipei, Taiwan, on the 14th of July, 1973, the first child of my parents. In the summer of my second high school year, I met my husband Eric, who was in his senior year in university, through a literature summer camp in southern Taiwan. We decided to get married six years later, and I became pregnant six months after our marriage. Eric works as a pharmacist in a hospital, and I am a full-time mother. Before joining the La Leche League, I often participated in voluntary work for nongovernment organizations.

＜My Pregnancy＞
I was thrilled to find myself pregnant six months after my marriage. I had a very enjoyable and uncomplicated pregnancy, and I very happy except for when my grandfather passed away during my fourth month. Eric and I took our childbirth classes very seriously, and we went to as many as we could attend, including breastfeeding courses, courses for newborn care, and Lamaze Technique courses. I chose to have my pre-natal checkups and childbirth classes at the Taiwan Adventist Hospital, whose staff is supportive of breastfeeding. I also gathered as much information as I could on breastfeeding and childcare, although when I look back now, it seems that the information was both insufficient and inaccurate. If there was anything I could have done differently during my pregnancy, I only wish that I could have joined the La Leche League meetings earlier, so that I could have had more information and support on breastfeeding.

＜My Birth Story＞
My contractions started on the night of April 8th, 1998, and we set out immediately for the hospital. Eric stayed with me throughout my labor, but we experienced some complications; when I was 7 centimeters dilated, my fever caused the fetal heartbeat to go too fast, and I was put on IV to help reduce my fever. The fetal heartbeat still had not resumed to normal though, and my doctor told us we might have to prepare for a cesarean birth. We told our doctor that we really wanted to have a natural birth, and we asked him to help us explain how the increased heartbeat would endanger the birth, as well as to give us more time to think the matter over carefully. Miraculously, in the few short minutes that we were given to consider our options, our baby’s heartbeat resumed normal, and we were able to continue with normal labor and induction. It was as though our baby knew how worried we were, and wanted to help us in her own small way. About 2 hours later, the nurse informed us that everything was progressing smoothly, and that I was 9 centimeters dilated. We were finally going to become parents! Yet just when we were expecting a smooth delivery, the fetal heartbeat increased again to a higher rate than 2 hours before, and it showed absolutely no signs of slowing down. We called our doctor, who decided that I would have a cesarean birth immediately. At 1a.m. on the 10th of April, our daughter was born.

＜My Initial Breastfeeding Experience＞
Due to my fever during labor, my newborn baby had to stay in NOR for observation, according to hospital regulations. That meant that I was only allowed a twenty-minute visitation period twice daily. Most cesarean mothers in Taiwan require 2-3 days of bed rest, and 6 days’ stay in the hospital for medical observation. In my case, my baby was not allowed to leave the nursery or even enter my hospital room because of my fever, and I did not get to see her during the initial period after she was born. 30 hours after giving birth, my catheter was removed, and I spent 2 entire hours trying to get off my bed and go to see my daughter alone (Eric was at work), despite the pain from my wound. With the IV tube still taped to my wrist, I slid from my bed to the floor, and tried to stand up; I walked slowly and painfully to the NOR without caring how I looked in my hospital gown, with my hair uncombed. All I cared about was being able to see my baby before nursery visitation period ended. This short trip from my hospital room to the nursery must have been the toughest journey I had to make in my life! When I first looked upon my newborn daughter, I felt the kind of emotion only a mother can feel; I cried while watching her small arm stuck with an IV needle, and while looking at her perfect, angelic face. That afternoon, I suddenly remembered my determination to breastfeed my baby, but the nurse told me that they had already fed the newborns, and she gave me a bottle to pump breastmilk into.
Continuous massaging and warm compressing for an entire night only produced 10c.c.of breastmilk from me. I was very depressed by this, and I had no way of knowing that this was normal for first time mothers. I brought the little milk I had produced the next day to see my baby, and I told the nurse that I wanted to try breastfeeding her directly. I already mentioned that I had done quite a lot of reading on infant care and breastfeeding, and I had also studied the positioning for a nursing baby. Still, my first breastfeeding experience that afternoon did not progress smoothly at all; the nurse thought my nipples might be too short, and she suggested that I try using nipple shields. After a few tries with the nipple shields, my maternal instinct told me that they were not helping my baby to get to my milk, so I resumed using the breast directly, even though the nursing staff were doubtful of my decision. I was fully confident that I would be able to produce milk though, because I also grew up on breastmilk. On the third day after giving birth, I was overjoyed to find that I was finally able to breastfeed directly; not only was my baby free from any infections, my wound was also recovering beautifully. After a brief discussion with the doctor, we decided to go home early, so that we could go on with our breastfeeding plan.
Voluntary checkout of a patient is seldom seen in Taiwan, but we felt no regret with our decision, we only felt that we needed to do this. On the day of our checkout, our daughter took 90 c.c.s of formula and only 30c.c.s of breastmilk, a depressing figure.

＜Breastfeeding on My Own＞
After we returned home, my breastfeeding plans did not go as planned at all. The adorable crib that I had prepared for my baby remained unused, as she slept with us, and I discovered that newborns could cry incessantly, for no reason at all.
April’s frequent feedings caused her to remain glued to my breasts, and incorrect positioning made my breasts raw and sore. Nightly waking and feeding tired me out, and April’s incessant crying made my family think that she was not getting enough milk from me. I was so depressed that I was prepared to bring in the formula, and even though Eric tried to convince me to continue breastfeeding, he still bought the formula and bottles, so he could help with night feedings. April immediately could tell the difference between formula and breastmilk, and she would vomit whenever we tried to feed her formula. Her reaction made me resume breastfeeding, and her reaction also renewed my determination to provide milk for my baby.
This is how motherhood began for me. I did not have the extra time or energy to regulate myself to the foods traditionally prepared for breastfeeding mothers in Chinese society, nor was I in any condition to receive guests. I didn’t have time and energy for anything else except caring for and breastfeeding my little baby. I didn’t want to speculate on how long my milk supply might last, all I could do was feed her each day, and be glad for each day’s milk supply. Often during the late nights, I would think to myself how glad I was that another day had passed in which April had breastfed from me, and that I could continue to do so tomorrow! With the help of my family and Eric’s steadfast support, I managed to learn how to let April latch on properly, and my breasts were finally providing a steady supply of milk. I had finally succeeded in breastfeeding! At 3 years and 11 months old, breastmilk is still one of April’s favorite foods, and I plan to let her breastfeed until she weans naturally.

＜Starting on Solids＞
Like all new parents, we were eager to see April start on solids, so when April became 4 months old and showed interest in what we were eating, we let her try some solid food. Yet solids made April have gas, so we stopped her solid food intake until she reached 6 months.
After the 6-month stage, April seemed to have stopped growing, and because she did not eat much solid foods, she seemed thin compared to other plump babies. Like many other breastfeeding mothers in Taiwan, I was faced with the pressure to wean my baby at this stage. Whenever family, neighbors, or passersby saw me still breastfeeding the one and a half year old April, they would all knowingly suggest that it was time for April to be weaned. Taiwanese people usually tend to be helpful and caring towards strangers, but this is one aspect of Taiwanese “helpfulness” that I did not welcome.
Books on breastfeeding taught me the value of being able to breastfeed, and through this experience, I was able to know my child better than anyone, as well as learn that we need to respect other people’s choices.

＜An Indescribable Experience＞
By breastfeeding April, we shared close and frequent physical contact, and the bond created between us manifested clearly when April became 7 months old. One day April seemed energetic as usual with no signs of illness, but somehow I felt that her temperature was slightly higher than average. To ease my own doubts, I decided to take her to see a pediatrician. The result of her urine sample examination showed that she had urinary tract infection, and the doctor ordered us to check into the hospital immediately. I arranged for April’s hospital stay in a daze of surprise, and we began a stay of 5 days and 4 nights.
I tried to make our hospital room as similar to home as possible by requesting for a private room, and asking the hospital staff to let us push two beds together to make one big bed, so we could sleep as a family like we did at home. I brought our bedsheets and blankets, as well as April’s favorite toys to the hospital, so April could feel at home as possible. The hospital became home to Eric and I during those 5 days, and Eric would come directly to the hospital right after work. My efforts could not stop April ‘s crying and stress entirely, but our breastfeeding ritual gave April the comfort and distraction that she needed. When feeding at the hospital, April would have one hand stuck with an IV needle, and her other hand would stroke my breast while feeding.
That year also happened to be a year in which the HFMD (hand-foot-mouth disease) enterovirus 71disease was raging through Taiwan, and many children unfortunately died from this disease. Our hospital had many little HFMD patients, with the serious patients in ICU, and others in general hospital rooms. Many of those children’s parents allowed them to walk about the hospital hallways, and we were extremely worried by the presence of HFMD patients surrounding April. Apart from breastfeeding, and paying meticulous care to hygiene, all we could do for April was ask the hospital to update us as quickly as possible on April’s culture performance report, and request that we return home first after her antibiotic treatment was completed. We wanted to leave the hospital as soon as possible, and return for checkups only when necessary.
We were lucky that our doctor gave us an advanced report on April, showing her infection to be common escherichia coli bacteria, and we left as soon as her antibiotic treatment was completed. Due to our breastfeeding, April’s hospital stay did not have any negative impacts on her, and the nutrients she absorbed from breastmilk helped her body to fight the bacteria successfully.
Our close physical contact in breastfeeding was what allowed me to discover April’s infection early on, and it was also what helped April to receive the best care and treatment during her hospital stay. This special and irreplaceable experience came about through breastfeeding, and it has again taught me the value of breastfeeding.

＜LLL Taiwan and I＞
I had first heard of the La Leche League when I was a senior high school student, and I remember often seeing newspaper articles promoting the merits of breastfeeding, so I already had a vague impression of this organization. The Taiwan Adventist Hospital where I gave birth at also handed out breastfeeding information published many years ago by LLL to expectant mothers. All this gave me a very good initial impression towards LLL Taiwan.
During the June of 1998, when April was 2 months old, we took a family trip to Hwalien, and a friendly and enthusiastic mother suggested that I try attending their LLL meetings. Starting from August, I started attending their meetings, and I began my first real contact with LLL. The Leader at that time was Jessica Liao; Jessica’s confidence, experience and charisma made a deep impression on me, but I was not used to participating in these types of meetings, and I was shy of speaking out. Even so, I was able to meet many other breastfeeding mothers who had children near April’s age. At the end of 1999, I started working at the LLL office as a volunteer, and I continued to take over voluntary duties assigned by the LLL headquarters, such as member data processing, and serving as a contact for the headquarters and the LLL in Asia. I learned much from my work in LLL, and from my interaction with its members; I have also made many friends, whose friendship I will cherish. The voluntary tasks and the experience sharing with other mothers make these LLL meetings all the more worthwhile to me. Starting from January 2001, I started to participate again in the Wenshan area meetings, and I made the acquaintance of a wonderful Christian and LLL Leader --- Bi-shia Chen. I have learned much about acceptance, forgiving and enthusiasm for a cause from her.

＜My Sincere Gratitude for the Special Support I have Received＞
I want to thank my husband Eric for being the sole breadwinner in our home, so that I could be a homemaker and breastfeed April; I want to thank him for supporting me in my decision to do voluntary work, and for encouraging me to apply for LLL leadership, in order to help other Taiwanese mothers to breastfeed.
I want to thank my family, for being proud of the voluntary work that I am doing.
I would like to thank Bi-shia Chen and Janedy for their recommendation; I have learned much from the both of them, and I have learned how privileged I am to be a member of LLLI. I often exchange breastfeeding information with Janedy, who used to be head nurse, and was a LLL leader for 6 years. Her professional knowledge and experience are of great help to me. From Bi-shia, I have learned about the true Christian spirit, and I hope I can become a Christian before the end of the year.
I want to thank all the volunteers of LLL Taiwan, especially Bhavanii and ming-chin because through their support, understand and criticism, I have learned how to handle interpersonal problems in a much more mature and smooth way.
Finally, I want to thank Maggie, Sarah, Aileen, Betty, Sue, and all the people who care about LLL Taiwan operations. In the past of the two years, I learned too many things from all of them.
LLLI has created a sisterhood and a professional support network among us, regardless of nationality and ethnicity, and this kind of affiliation is invaluable and exceptional.