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轉貼:"需要的"爸爸買,"想要的"自己付‏

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『需要的』爸爸買,『想要的』自己付


聯合報游乾桂/作家 2009/01/12

  經濟嚴冬,我最想教孩子"需要"與"想要"的差別,那叫價值觀。                      
                                                                           
 
女兒訕訕的提出要求:「鞋子壞了,要買一雙!」                              
                                                                           
 
我定睛望一望鞋底,的確磨損了一個大洞,應該更換了。                        
                                                                           
 
我問明喜歡的品牌與價錢,撥了一通電話打探,開體育用品店的朋友並未進貨這款  
                                                                           
 
鞋子,但保證調得到貨,言明七折,他說專賣店不打折的。                      
                                                                           
 
我趕緊把成果向女兒報告,她卻回我:「已經約好球球的,今天就要去買。」      
                                                                           
 
我算一算差價,高達一千元,就差三天,有必要花這一千元嗎?我臉色微慍表達我  
                                                                           
 
的感受。                                                                  
                                                                           
 
事實上,這幾年來工作賺錢的確不易,我早有盤算讓孩子早點明白,家中的錢是怎  
                                                                           
 
麼來的?                                                                  
                                                                           
 
兩個方向是我的收入來源,一是演講,二是寫作,大約都是薄酬,難以致富。      
                                                                           
 
尤其是出版的書,以一本定價250元計算,初版版稅是25元,我以簡單的算術讓她明 
                                                                           
 
白,25*1025*100以及25*1000的答案,分別是250元、2500元、25000元。        
                                                                           
 
我反問他,多嗎?說畢,我把一綑四十本的書綁好,放在她的手上讓她拎拎,並且  
                                                                           
 
告訴她,版稅正好一千元,如果當天想去買鞋,請順便帶去賣,得了一千元差額就  
                                                                           
 
可以購買了。                                                              
                                                                           
 
我走進書房,繼續未完成的稿子,十分鐘後她走了進來,告訴我決定:「爸爸你幫  
                                                                           
 
我買好嗎?」                                                              
                                                                           
 
也許她瞭解我的比喻了,我摸摸她的頭,希望真懂。                            
                                                                           
 

想要與需要,是我想提醒她的生活哲學,需要是一種必要,比方說,茶米油鹽醬醋  
                                                                           
 
茶,不吃會餓,不喝會渴,與健康有關的全算在列﹔想要的則是慾望了,沒有必要   
                                                                           
 
卻硬要,比方說,已經有了五雙鞋子,但是一經流行,再買一雙,其餘幾雙束之高  
                                                                           
 
閣,這就形同浪費。                                                        
                                                                           
 
我提醒兒女,「需要的」我付錢,「想要的」自己付,因為我非有錢之人。        
                                                                           
 
能賺到錢是福分,必須珍惜,浪費就形同沒有賺錢。                            
                                                                           
 
我還說,錢只是媒介,有了它之後,應該通往幸福,否則就是賺到紙,賺到數      
                                                                           
 字,外加忙碌、疲倦、壓力與心煩,即使如此還是滿足不了慾望的。
              
                                                                           
 
人的一生,需要真的不多,但想要的老是太多。                                
                                                                           
 
當時小三不盡理解我的想法的她,漸漸長大,就讀大學之後便明白了。            
                                                                           
 
前幾天,我收到她的生日卡片,叮嚀我要注意健康,快樂一點,別太忙了,不用拚  
                                                                           
 
命賺錢,因為她會省吃儉用,設身處地替人著想了。                            
                                                                           
 
看來她已經會了數學,知道收入減去消費,得到(正數)的人,才能活得亮彩,否  
                                                                           
 
則庸庸碌碌,汲汲營營,最後淪為工作的奴隸。

                               
我在想為什麼現在卡奴那麼多?                                           

是不是跟現在父母供給小孩太過充足
                                          
                                                                           
以致於小孩已經習慣得到」超過自己所能賺取」的享受                         
                                                                           
甚至可以」不勞而獲」了呢??                                                  
                                                                           
 一位長輩的小孩最近結婚了                                                  
                                                                           
 婚禮之奢華富麗讓人好生羨慕                                              
                                                                           
 長輩跟我們炫耀光小孩的結婚鑽戒要價150因為他們一定要是蒂芬妮的!!    
                                                                           
 可是我們發覺,他的小孩根本沒出去工作過,不曾出去賺過一分錢回來…….         
                                                                           
 到現在還不確定自己該靠什麼維生?                                            
                                                                           
 他可知道這150萬需要付出多少才能賺得回來??                                 
                                                                           
 萬一他的父母離開他了他該去哪裡找到這種不勞而獲的機會呢?? 靠信用卡??     
                                                                           
 我們給孩子」太富足」的生活,有時不見得對他們有好處……                       

"
需要的"爸爸買,"想要的自己付                                          
 
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