My dear ,
This summer, I met a tender lover from far away, swipe me over with his tenderness, sweet smiles and endless kisses. However, he isn’t mine. Now since he is gone, the frustration and jealousy he gave, can be left aside of my life.
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I don’t blame on you. Just when we were clear that this is summer romance that going nowhere, I suddenly felt an urge to settle. Really, no one can hardly answer what I was doing, and what I was looking for! I could only tell that I am sick of wondering around and getting no point! In some way, I am a mature adult, and I should be an mature adult, but I often act as a kid fooling around with my surroundings. Really, Rufi, its not your fault. I don’t know what I was up to and I should have thought clearer on this.
I know there is nothing to regret for you, but I couldn’t help but thinking if I could have done things differently. Look at the pics we took before we fool ourselves. We were all innocent and simple.
I told you that I had problem “let go”. I put my trust on you when I said so. Coz I was hoping if you could manage it better than I could have. That’s why it hurts so much when you told me this is just as simple as your the other fairs. I couldn’t trust you on this matter anymore. However, I am not the best candidate, either. I screw up and made you miserable. That’s how things got ugly.
You often asked me why I scared about out intimate chatting and familiarity. I know you were enjoying the beauty of being understand and understanding others. However, this is exactly what I am afraid of. Once you lay your trust to someone, you will never know if this is a right choice until someday it turns sour or, hardly getting somewhere I suppose.
Anyway, since you are no longer in my life, its time for me to move on. I never expect this friendship is going somewhere, sure I would survive the time without you. I wish.
pic: kenting, kissing stone. Summer 2007.
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